true confessions

1. I can just not get enough of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I’m in love with the show and am thrilled that they have been having a marathon, um, for the last week or so. Love it. I can’t get enough of the way Kate is completely anal and bossy (also known as: just like me) and Jon is patient and kind and a calm parent (also known as: just like Somebody.) It cracks me up.

2. This morning I got on a plane and spent a good part of my day getting to Texas. Don’t take this personally, but I never wanted to come to Texas. And not even that I didn’t want to come for this particular work meeting, but I never wanted to come to Texas at all. And I hate to say it, but it so far it has lived up to my expectations. I hope that something happens to make me want to return, because so far all I’ve experienced is the lamest mall EVER, (worse even than the old Ogden mall, and that is saying something) and the homeless, and slight fear about my hotel location, and elephants in the hallway. Way to go, Texas.

3. When I’m away from home, I miss my husband with a surprising intensity. Last night I asked him if he wanted to hug me a little bit longer because I was going away and he was going to miss me, and he was all, “Eh. I don’t miss you that much.” What the? I thought everyone was a little bit sadder when they were away from me. No? Anyway, I find that, especially in the evenings, I just feel better about everything when he is there. Which I find surprising because a) I LOVE me some alone time, b) I consider myself an independent and capable person who can function all alone in a new city, and c) at home I sleep better when Somebody is not in the bed, which should and will be a confession of its own. (And it is!) But I miss him. I hate that if I wanted a hug and a kiss that it would basically be, “No hug for you!” When we were on the phone earlier, after a few minutes, he said, “well, I don’t have anything to tell you. Do you have anything to talk about? No? Okay, well, I’m going to go then.” Sometimes it is hard to believe we spent hours on the phone talking when we were first dating. Of course, back then he needed some time to explain how he wanted to date me because he liked me and not because he wanted a green card.

4. I sleep better when Somebody is not in the bed. I’m not the best sleeper in general, but, sadly, my sleep is even less rejuvenating and deep when I have to share the bed. You would think that after two years of marriage I would have gotten over the adjustment but somehow I just haven’t. We usually end up with one of us on the couch, or him staying in the living room until I’ve fallen asleep, or me moving to the other room in the middle of the night, or me just not getting a very good sleep. And somehow that makes me feel like I’m not a very good wife—because I don’t want him all over me when I’m sleeping. And yet. AND YET. Here at the hotel I wish for nothing more than for him to be here. You know, to keep me awake as if we were at home.

5. I hate talking to the strangers sitting next to me on any public transportation. Or public place. Or anywhere, actually. I hate small talk. But today a woman boarded the plane after me and was carrying a magazine that clearly indicated that she was a member of the same church I am. And sat right next to me. And yet I could never think of anything to say to let her know that we had something in common, and even when I wanted to comment on the talk from the magazine that she was reading I didn’t because I didn’t want to end up having to talk for the whole rest of the flight. I’m lame like that. In the end I did strike up a conversation, but I calculated it to begin approximately five minutes before we landed. Oh yeah. I’m all about spreading the good word. Please. I can’t even share what I know with people who would undoubtedly welcome the conversation.

6. I’m a bad suitcase packer. I tend to over-pack on certain things and under-pack on others. You would think that by now I would have the work meeting list of items down pat, and yet here I am again with only one casual shirt. That I will end up wearing every night I’m here. And then on the plane home. I’m going to smell pretty. Don’t worry—I’ll use it as one more reason to not talk to the people sitting near me on the flight home.