man, i crack myself up

This went around a little while ago, but because I am alternately too lazy and too busy to get to things when they are still all-the-rage, I’m throwing my selections in a little late. Oh well.

These are quotes from some of my favorite movies. I actually had kind of a hard time remembering movies that I consider favorites and had to resort to going to the one box of dvds we have unpacked (I set them aside when we moved specifically because I thought I liked them enough to want to have access to them before the rest of the boxes were unpacked.) Anyway, there are two moves that I love so much that I had to include two quotes. And I am going to warn you that I like some old, obscure Disney movies.

The Rules:
Leave guesses in the comments.
No Googling or using IMDB search functions.
Don’t cheat, suckas!
Limit your guesses to three movies.

1. She's an owl, sickened by a few days of *my* sunshine. *My Fair Lady*

2. I'm a woman! We don't say what we WANT! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary. *Sliding Doors*

3. Fester, fester, fester. Rot, rot, rot. *French Kiss*

4. I brought you flours. *Stranger Than Fiction*

5. To have your alligators thaw out and your daughter forgive you all in the same bright morning, that's fortuosity. *The Happiest Millionaire*

6. Yes is being my answer. Easy question. *Love Actually*

7. Then it is a good dream. *The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers*

8. And, let me guess, you have a great personality. *The Emperor's New Groove*

9. Well, aren't you just a big fat liar. *Sweet Home Alabama*

10. I'd be surprisingly good for you. *Evita*

11. Why would a shark swallow a bottle? *In Search of the Castaway*

12. Help me find the owner of this rather remarkable shoe. *Ever After*

13. On a scale of one to ten, what would you consider the likelihood you might be assassinated? *Stranger Than Fiction*

14. A happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story. *The Last Unicorn*

15. I could never love a Baywatch fan. *Sliding Doors*

16. Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know? *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*


And just in case they haven’t done it, I hope that Housewife, Michelle, Megan, and Zoo Peters participate next.
Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
Post them on your blog for everyone to guess.
Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed.

a little hotel quiz

The first two weeks of the month I spent time at two hotels in Houston and one in Calgary: the Hilton, the Holiday Inn, and the Hyatt. Can you tell which bed belongs to which hotel?
And can the pictures tell you which was the most comfortable?

abc my friday

Like many things, I am not the first. Who beat me? Janssen and Housewife, of course.

Admiring: New cars and the lucky people who own and drive them. (New being relative—anything less than six years old.)

Beating myself up about: Eating food that I know I shouldn’t eat.

Crying over: Spilt milk.

Daydreaming about: Someday being one of the pregnant women that people think are so cute.

Excited because: It’s Friday and we are hanging with Zoo Peters tonight. And she is cooking. You have no idea how jealous you should be.

Frustrated because: My to-do list never seems to shrink.

Grateful for: blinds that Justin put up over my office window (also I’m grateful that my desk is one of the few in the office that looks out a window) to block out the sun and the sunny reflection on the cars in the parking lot. The constant glare was giving me headaches and the blinds have made a huge difference in my ability to stay at work. Although sometimes I still have to wear my sunglasses in the office. I’m grateful for sunglasses.

Hate-filled and seething over: critical emails that get forwarded to lists of people who were not involved in any part of the original discussion, and that are critical about things that are not even accurate, and that will lead to wasted time and incorrect assumptions.

Indignant because: I’m rarely wrong (at work) (What? I'm not! I'm freakishly smart.) and I don’t like being accused of incompetence.

Just shoot me now because: Once again it looks like we’ll get freezing temperatures this weekend and I just don’t know how much more my little garden can take.

Kidding myself regarding: How cute the little pigtails really are.

Listening to: “Whole Wide World” by Eric Goulden

Mooning over: Shirts that are (a) long enough that I don’t need a tank top, (b) short sleeve so that I can wear them in the summer, (c) dressy enough that I can wear them to work, (d) casual enough that I can wear them on the weekend, and (e) somewhat attractive. Suggestions?

Need: A realistic exercise plan.

Obsessing over: The one toenail that looks sad and stumpy and like it doesn’t want to join the “pretty toenail party.”

Praying: That the plan will go, you know, according to plan.

Questioning: How long this nasty blemish with stay on my chin. Any bets? We’re up to three weeks and counting.

Reading: 1776, and while it’s interesting and I’m impressed with the drive and courage of those men, I’m not loving it like I want to.

Singing: The song I’m listening to. Also, I have been singing “She,” from the movie Notting Hill, (which we watched last night) in my head during the breaks when no music is playing.

Trying: to motivate myself to do some actual work. This leads directly to my frustration that my to-do list never gets any shorter.

Unnerved by: How much smoother our drive is with new tires. Should I have been more worried about our safety with the shaky-shakes the past three months?

Voicing: My opinion that being constantly monitored makes me uneasy and a less-productive employee.

Wondering: If I will ever be able to open the blinds all the way again.

X-ray: My foot. Are the bones really collapsing? Is that really something that happens?

Yawning over: pictures of other people’s pets. Seriously. I agree that your kids are cute and I like to see how they are growing up, but, um, your puppy? Not so much. Even when you pose it in the spring tulips.

Zoinks: Only two more hours of work time?!? I definitely need to get some things done here.

the best is yet to be

america's attic

I had not been to Canada before in my adult life, so I was thrilled that my work took me to Calgary so that I could see what all the fuss was about. My opinion of the city might have been swayed by the fact that I was about to rendezvous with Carol, but I'll try to keep her out of things. (Like that is even possible. I enjoy traveling so much more when I can meet up with friends who live there and can take me out of the hotel. My personal tour of the city amazing and I hope I enjoy Calgary even half as much as I did with Carol.)

Carol took me to do what any good American does in Canada--buy chocolate (shhhh, don't tell Somebody.) The store was a lot like Walmart, only not, and with these awesome shoes. My big regret was that they didn't have any of the green ones in my size. Dang.
Oh! How could I forget? Before the big store we stopped for the best french fries ever. EVER. I can't believe I didn't take a picture because, honestly, I could have eaten them all night. And after the store we went for dinner, and then, get ready for it, we got the best hot chocolate ever. Ever! Can you even imagine it? The best french fries and the best hot chocolate in the same city? I know. Crazy.
Seriously. Best. Hot chocolate. Ever. Ever. We had to cool it down a little by holding it outside the car, but once it reached drinkable temperature I was in heaven. Or Canada.

And Canada has these:Maybe they have them in other big cities--the footprints so that you have somewhere to step so that your heel doesn't go through the grate. Awesome. Other things I loved about Calgary:

• Every flight I took had empty seats, left on time, and arrived at my destination a little early. I could not have been more pleased.
• Did you know that you have to pay for plastic bags at the grocery store? I think it is a great way to encourage bringing re-usable, canvas bags.
• Everyone I met was so polite--the taxi drivers, hotel staff, people in restaurants and walking around.
• As I was walking around the downtown area by myself in the morning, I passed a city worker cleaning some outdoor benches. There weren't other people on the street and so I could hear him very clearly singing in Italian. It was almost like a whole other world there listening to him sing.
• The weather was perfectly cold. I prefer weather to be a little on the chilly side and was comfortably cool the whole time.

The one thing I didn't like about going into Canada was going through customs. I knew that I wasn't doing anything wrong, but the inquisition was a little too thorough and the customs official actually said, "You know, we can't let just anyone in to Canada." Well, thanks for that. Also, my laptop is heavy. It was never meant to be carried around the Denver airport or anywhere else.

all tied up in knots

Remember how I like mangos? Well, I do. Lots. And lots. Today the dessert with lunch was a little things called Mango Explosion. I kid you not. Mango that collided with cake and the result was a freakish amount of yummy. Texas, I just might come back. But hopefully not to Houston, because people, I have been warned.

things that must go

A radio station in the state I used to live in had a segment called “things that must go.” I will copy them here, because, seriously, there are a lot of things that bug the crap out of me and Must. Go.

1. Music on blogs. A few days ago, the wise and lovely Janssen posted about how she hates blogs that have a reduced view in Reader that required her to click through to their web site to read each post. I could not agree with her more. There are some blogs that I am willing to click through to (because I know the writing or pictures will be worth it) but in general I just skip over such posts. And then I delete them from my list of blogs to read. You know what is just lovely about Reader, beside the easy access to hundreds of blog feeds? The fact that you don’t have to risk having annoying music start playing when you open some blogs. People, why do you do that to me? If you want to hear music then just play it on your own computer? Why do you want to share it with me? Oh, because you know I like shared music? Well, not of that variety. I know I can scroll down and turn the music player off, but mostly what I do instead is close the page. And then shake my fist at the heavens, roll my eyes, and move on to blogs that don’t assault my ears.

2. Really low toilet paper dispensers in public bathrooms. Is this some sort of ADA thing? Because I can’t imagine what kind of disability would allow someone to sit on a normal height toilet and then only be able to access toilet paper that comes out of a dispenser that is secured to the wall in such a way that it is lower than my knees and I must reach down to get the paper. What the? Is there a legitimate purpose for this? What would the harm be in positioning that dispenser a little higher? It bugs me.

3. The “the antioxidants will protect me” grape juice commercial. I don’t even know what brand made this commercial, but whenever it comes on I find myself cringing and changing the channel. Seriously? The antioxidants will protect you? It’s the kind of thing that would be cute if your own child said it, but that seems so contrived and annoying when the child actor does it. It has ruined grape juice for me. Just kidding. I’m not sure there is anything that could truly ruin grape juice for me, but this commercial comes really close. Stop. Please stop.

4. Bad honeydew on fruit bars. People, do you put the honeydew (aka musk melon) there as a space-taker-upper? Oh, you do? Well, knock it off. I like honeydew. A lot. But I don’t like the rock-hard junk that is put out on so many fruit platters. Can you not tell the difference between ripe and yucky? Maybe not. Brush up on that skill, kids, because a ripe honeydew is like a little slice of heaven. In related news, the fruit platter this morning had sliced mango. Mango! How did they know it was my favorite? Mango is another things I just can’t get enough of. Somebody thinks that some time in Taiwan eating it at every meal will cure me of my love, but I doubt it.

5. Disregard for the illness/problems/property of others. What’s up with that? Why must every story of mine be topped by a story that involves you? I’m talking here, people. Focus. And why can’t I just be sick? Why do you have to be more sick? Or handling your sickness better? And why can’t you act like the things of others are important and have value, too? True, they might not be as expensive or fancy as yours, but that doesn’t mean that they have any less importance to the owner. Case in point: today at the board meeting one of the attendees started doodling on the linen tablecloth. In pen. Even though a pad of paper was less than six inches away. A grown women drew on the tablecloth. Why? The only reason I can come up with is that she simply doesn’t take notice of things that are not hers. And that thinking must go.

I’m sure I’ll have more later, which shouldn’t surprise those of you who know me and how I like to talk about the things that bother me.

true confessions

1. I can just not get enough of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I’m in love with the show and am thrilled that they have been having a marathon, um, for the last week or so. Love it. I can’t get enough of the way Kate is completely anal and bossy (also known as: just like me) and Jon is patient and kind and a calm parent (also known as: just like Somebody.) It cracks me up.

2. This morning I got on a plane and spent a good part of my day getting to Texas. Don’t take this personally, but I never wanted to come to Texas. And not even that I didn’t want to come for this particular work meeting, but I never wanted to come to Texas at all. And I hate to say it, but it so far it has lived up to my expectations. I hope that something happens to make me want to return, because so far all I’ve experienced is the lamest mall EVER, (worse even than the old Ogden mall, and that is saying something) and the homeless, and slight fear about my hotel location, and elephants in the hallway. Way to go, Texas.

3. When I’m away from home, I miss my husband with a surprising intensity. Last night I asked him if he wanted to hug me a little bit longer because I was going away and he was going to miss me, and he was all, “Eh. I don’t miss you that much.” What the? I thought everyone was a little bit sadder when they were away from me. No? Anyway, I find that, especially in the evenings, I just feel better about everything when he is there. Which I find surprising because a) I LOVE me some alone time, b) I consider myself an independent and capable person who can function all alone in a new city, and c) at home I sleep better when Somebody is not in the bed, which should and will be a confession of its own. (And it is!) But I miss him. I hate that if I wanted a hug and a kiss that it would basically be, “No hug for you!” When we were on the phone earlier, after a few minutes, he said, “well, I don’t have anything to tell you. Do you have anything to talk about? No? Okay, well, I’m going to go then.” Sometimes it is hard to believe we spent hours on the phone talking when we were first dating. Of course, back then he needed some time to explain how he wanted to date me because he liked me and not because he wanted a green card.

4. I sleep better when Somebody is not in the bed. I’m not the best sleeper in general, but, sadly, my sleep is even less rejuvenating and deep when I have to share the bed. You would think that after two years of marriage I would have gotten over the adjustment but somehow I just haven’t. We usually end up with one of us on the couch, or him staying in the living room until I’ve fallen asleep, or me moving to the other room in the middle of the night, or me just not getting a very good sleep. And somehow that makes me feel like I’m not a very good wife—because I don’t want him all over me when I’m sleeping. And yet. AND YET. Here at the hotel I wish for nothing more than for him to be here. You know, to keep me awake as if we were at home.

5. I hate talking to the strangers sitting next to me on any public transportation. Or public place. Or anywhere, actually. I hate small talk. But today a woman boarded the plane after me and was carrying a magazine that clearly indicated that she was a member of the same church I am. And sat right next to me. And yet I could never think of anything to say to let her know that we had something in common, and even when I wanted to comment on the talk from the magazine that she was reading I didn’t because I didn’t want to end up having to talk for the whole rest of the flight. I’m lame like that. In the end I did strike up a conversation, but I calculated it to begin approximately five minutes before we landed. Oh yeah. I’m all about spreading the good word. Please. I can’t even share what I know with people who would undoubtedly welcome the conversation.

6. I’m a bad suitcase packer. I tend to over-pack on certain things and under-pack on others. You would think that by now I would have the work meeting list of items down pat, and yet here I am again with only one casual shirt. That I will end up wearing every night I’m here. And then on the plane home. I’m going to smell pretty. Don’t worry—I’ll use it as one more reason to not talk to the people sitting near me on the flight home.

friday finds: yellow edition

This week I had a hard time coming up with some good finds. At first I wanted to find items with daffodils, because they seem to be the only flower blooming these days, but daffodil items that I like are few and far between. So then I tried April Fool's items, and, well, several of those were not for young readers (apparently etsy doesn't have policy prohibiting homemade items of objectionable taste, and I have to wonder who is spending time making or buying those items, but to each his/her own). Anyway, I finally settled on yellow items because yellow makes me happy and encourages me that spring and sunshine will be here soon.

1. How could you not dress your child in that and then smile every time you saw them? You can. The End. Lemon Dress: Blossom and Sunny.

2. I have a love/hate relationships with wreaths. I had the dried flowers, wispy sprigs, and Homemaking-ness of many of them. But every so often I come across one that I love and that I could definitely see myself actually hanging on my front door. My hypothetical front door. LES CITRONS Gorgeous Tropical Orchid Wreath: Fantasy of Flowers.

3. I used to have an obsession with candles. And I can't think of a birthday/holiday when I didn't receive at least one candle as a gift. But these, well, these are practically mood lighting. I hope that sentence didn't make you vomit a little. Celestial Votive Holders: Moonlightbaker.

4. This was the very first yellow item I loved and the one that spurred the whole yellow list. I love it. Love. It. It is so cheery and bright and quite possibly a one-size-fits-all. Sign me up. Yellow Explosion Bracelet: Pepper Design.

5. No privileged little girl my age grew up without Strawberry Shortcake. I loved those dolls, but mostly because they just smelled so good. This is Lemon Meringue and her pet frog, Frappe. Do you remember them? Has your life seemed incomplete without them? Because the notes say she still smells sweet. Lemon meringue with frappe: Trunk of Prettys.

6. When Somebody and I talk about life options that don't involve me going to work, we often talk about the things I will be doing instead. "Sewing aprons" and selling them and making millions is usually way up there on the list*. Right under "open cupcake shop with friends." Why? I don't know. I live on the edge like that. In any case, I'm always on the lookout for cool apron patterns, and this one was appealing. It is reversible with yellow on the back. Bumblee Heaven Apron: Burst of Happiness.

*I have never sewed an apron before.

Update: Okay, seriously? I've tried to edit the spacing on this, like, 11 times, and it keeps reformatting to having no spaces and a weird size of font. What's going on? My last post was like this, too? I would hate to think that I'm a bad blogger, and so I want to blame Blogger, but has anyone else had this problem? And how did you fix it?

when planted it will grow

Remember two months ago when I stubbed my toe and was all, ouch, feel sorry for me? I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to take another picture to show you just how black and gross it still was. Pull out a little of that initial sympathy for me because today when I visited the podiatrist he decided that the nail was dead and that he should probably pull it off. Oh yeah. Nothing warms my heart like words that let me know that someone is going to cause pain to my feet. So here I sit with nine (and a nub) toenails. It’s a hot look.

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My mom and I stopped by a Whole Foods Market this afternoon for a look around, some flax seed, and dinner. We have been in the store before and were nothing short of impressed by the sight and smells in their deli section. Have you been there? It’s like a million things that look yummy and yet are also organic and probably very healthy. We decided on some grilled vegetable pizza and I have never felt so healthy after a pizza dinner. Here’s the thing, though. I’m not sure how much I buy into the whole organic, natural, free-range, additive free food stuff. I mean, in theory I think it sounds like a good way to live. Natural. Fresh. But is organic cilantro worth paying four times as much for a bundle? What does the organic-ness do for me? Do the health benefits warrant the money? I often fall back on that old, “well, I wasn’t raised on that, and neither were my parents, or their parents, and we all turned out just fine,” thing. And I know that more and more chemicals and artificial flavor/color/texture are added to food than thirty years ago. The other part of this dilemma is that part of me wants to be that kind of person. I want to make healthy choices and put only good food in my body. And yet, I just can’t make myself pay that extra money. I’m a Whole Foods critic/wanna-be. It’s an interesting mix.

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We’ve started our square foot gardens (spurred primarily by Ann’s garden of amazingness) and are eager for spring weather to really arrive so we can put all the more sensitive vegetables out. Pictures and more information will follow. Somebody is a master gardener. Seeds that he plants sprout up in no-time under his tender care. He speaks sweet-nothings to the tiny buds, scoops in the perfect amount of water, takes care to give them the right amount of sunlight, and in all ways makes their survival a priority. I think he must check on their progress at least a dozen times each day. Master. Gardener. How lucky am I that he approaches his relationship with me in much the same kind, attentive, selfless way? Oh, yeah. Me and the plants are thriving under his care.