it's just the way that you love me

While organizing our boxes in a storage room in my parents' basement, my dad encouraged me to go through the seven boxes that I had been storing at their house since high school. I was shocked that I had been kicked out of the Single People Who Store Their High School Junk With Their Parents club, but was actually a little excited about what I might find.


In Box One:You know you are jealous. That collection includes Belinda Carlisle! Tiffany! Wilson Phillips (back when one of them looked like a boy)! And my favorite, listened to every day, knew all the words to, Paula Abdul, back before she went insane. You remember that video that she had with the cartoon cat? Opposites Attract? Oh, Paula. Cats are not our opposites. They are an entirely different species that we don't get attracted to. And thus began her spiral into insanity. Man, I loved that tape collection. And then I threw it away, because, well, I don't have a tape player anymore.


In Box Two:
You're impressed, right? Fine wood? Fine workmanship? Yeah. I pulled craft after craft, drawing after painting, ceramic pot after wooden box out of Box Two. Every single item I held up with pride for Somebody to ohhh and ahhh over. He was all busy eating a carrot stick and mostly just stared at me like I wasn't forever his girl. And after the ninth or so item, he finally said, "You should stop showing those to me, because you are not going to get the response you want." Well, shut right up. You think I wasn't looking for eye rolling and gestures toward the garbage can? Hello, someone in this room doesn't appreciate fine high school craftsmanship. I responded with something like, "Straight up now, tell me, you think I have mad skills, don't you?" But he just stared at me blankly and then left the room. Cold hearted snake. But you think I have mad skills, right? Because I made those! I designed those boxes, picked that wood, cut it, sanded it (oh my gosh, I have horrible memories of sanding that wood for weeks), glued it, polished it, and then put it in a box for 12 years. I think maybe Somebody spent too much time studying in high school and not enough time in ceramics, wood shop, jewelry making, painting, and textiles. Poor kid. He can’t recognize a master when he sees one. He could promise the moon and the stars above, and even if he promised me the world, I just can’t throw it all away.

Oh, yeah, there were other boxes. Books. Photo albums. Toys. I purged a lot of it and ended up with only three boxes of stuff. That’s right. More than a 50% reduction. You don’t believe me? Look in to my eyes. Oh oh. I’m not telling lies.