Friday, June 08, 2007

thankful thursday

This is a shout out (in the way of mostly gratitude) to the ex-boyfriends. Why? I have no idea. It just seemed like something that I needed to say.

Dear Earl,
I didn’t treat you very well. Being the first college boyfriend is always hard, and I’m sorry I was immature and didn’t take you seriously. Thank you for knowing that girls like flowers, and I hope you still buy them for your wife.
I was a bad letter writer, and I wrote you off for someone far less deserving. Thank you for still being willing to see me when you got back.
When you got married you emailed me to say that you probably shouldn’t continue our correspondence because you wanted to focus on your wife, but that you were glad that in the end we had ended up being real friends. I agree, and I think you are a good man and a good husband for wanting to be completely faithful to your wife. She will appreciate that trust and support. Sometimes I wonder where you two ended up, and if you speak Spanish in your home, and if we moved into the same town if we could be married friends.

Dear Ron,
For so long I thought I was broken. That you had broken me and there was no glue in the world that could piece me back together. Shame on you for blaming me for your sins and errors; for believing that it was my imperfections that made you unhappy when really it was your own weakness that tore us apart. I would have married you, and I would never have known real confidence or happiness.
Thank you for moving on so quickly. It spared me the ability to sit around and pine for your and for the horrible relationship that we no longer had. I learned how to be alone.
Did you tell your wife? Does she know about the pit?

Dear Brett,
We never had an established relationship, so I hope you don’t mind that I’m including you here. What we had, though, at least to me, was the most healthy relationship of my twenty-something years.
Thank you for homemade vegetable soup, road trips to Zions, early morning rides to work, and basically being an incredible, solid shoulder to cry on when my world was turned upside down. Thank you for acting like a man so that I would recognize real men later.

Dear Somebody,
Thank you for being available when I needed a friend there. Thank you for being willing to talk about your timeline, even though you knew it was going to freak me out. And then, when I was fully on board with your timeline, and you started pretending like I was making things up, thank you for sticking around and following it. See, sometimes it really is all about you.
Thank you for asking me in the car, and then at the store, and then in the home that became our home. Thank you for picking out the best jewelry, looking so good in cheap jeans, always washing the dishes, and being the first to say sorry. I would say it more, but, clearly, I’m usually all busy crying and denying anything is wrong. And busy making cookies, which, by the way, thank you for saying that they were the best you’d ever had even though you hadn’t had that kind before and don’t even like cookies.
Thank you for being so delighted that I’m opinionated. Thank you for getting so used to saying sweet things. I would love for my full-time job to be following you around and saying sweet things right back at you, because I don’t think I would ever run out of things to say.
All My Love, Forever,

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