the answers to all my questions

So, you give up yet? I thought so.

Hotel rooms:
Left to right--Hyatt, Hilton, Holiday Inn
Most comfortable--Holiday Inn, then Hyatt. Not comfortable at all? Hilton

Movie quotes:
You can see all the answers filled in below. The ones in green were guessed correctly. The ones in red were not guessed at all. Either I like lame-o movies or you guys need to get out and see some of these because they are awesome. It could really go either way.

Questions you were too shy to ask:
Yes, I wear sunglasses all day at work to do what I can do prevent the migraines from coming.
No, I'm not pregnant.
Yes, the doctor did tell me that the best solution for my twice-weekly migraines was to get pregnant right away.
No, I didn't hit her and request an easier-to-control option.

Yes, I know how to eat with chopsticks.

Yes, I have worn my hair in either pigtails or a ponytail every day this week.
No, I don't feel bad about it.
Yes, I did consider that if I left my hair down that it might take some of the focus away from my boil.
Shut up.

No, we didn't die in the big thunderstorms that rolled through the Kansas City area last night.
Yes, my car did sustain some hail damage.

Yes, I did get my wedding ring back from being cleaned and spruced up today.
Yes, the employee did call it "interesting" although she clarified that it was in a good way.
Yes, I do agree that it is the best piece of jewelry that I own and that by choosing it I was admitting that Somebody has better taste than I do and that he should pick out all my jewelry.
No, I don't mind that at all.

Yes, I did get another migraine while typing this, which is the second one today.
Yes, you should feel just a little bit bad for me.
No, I don't need anything, but thank you. Oh, wait, if you know of any non-medical/home-remedy/voodoo/herb remedies that I should try, please pass them along.

when it rains…

When I was in P-town last week (two weeks ago? Crazy. And, by the way, that was a great and much needed vacation) I made a little visit to la Salon Chloe. It’s this great place that gives you the greatest eyebrows ever. Anyway, I had the highly skilled esthetician do a little work cleaning out my pores, especially that one on my chin that had been giving me trouble for about two weeks (maybe longer.) And for a day things were fine. And then the blemish started getting a little red. And then it started growing into more of a, well, boil. And then I woke up one day with the most embarrassing pus hill on my chin. I tried to hide it with makeup and pretend that nothing was wrong, but soon the nodes under my chin started swelling and grew very tender to the touch. (Do you kind of wish you could have been here to see it? Seriously. It was the kind of thing where people found it so gross that they can’t stop looking. Welcome to my world.) The moral of the story? I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a nasty combination of a staph infection and a strep infection. From my blemish. Doesn’t that take a certain skill? I don’t know about you, but that was one winning combo I was hoping to avoid. After three days of antibiotics things are starting to calm down. Oh, no, the blemish hasn’t decreased. Don’t worry. But the swelling under the chin has gone down. And there is this fairly attractive scab forming on my chin.

I am, like, 15 years old. Hear me roar.

man, i crack myself up

This went around a little while ago, but because I am alternately too lazy and too busy to get to things when they are still all-the-rage, I’m throwing my selections in a little late. Oh well.

These are quotes from some of my favorite movies. I actually had kind of a hard time remembering movies that I consider favorites and had to resort to going to the one box of dvds we have unpacked (I set them aside when we moved specifically because I thought I liked them enough to want to have access to them before the rest of the boxes were unpacked.) Anyway, there are two moves that I love so much that I had to include two quotes. And I am going to warn you that I like some old, obscure Disney movies.

The Rules:
Leave guesses in the comments.
No Googling or using IMDB search functions.
Don’t cheat, suckas!
Limit your guesses to three movies.

1. She's an owl, sickened by a few days of *my* sunshine. *My Fair Lady*

2. I'm a woman! We don't say what we WANT! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary. *Sliding Doors*

3. Fester, fester, fester. Rot, rot, rot. *French Kiss*

4. I brought you flours. *Stranger Than Fiction*

5. To have your alligators thaw out and your daughter forgive you all in the same bright morning, that's fortuosity. *The Happiest Millionaire*

6. Yes is being my answer. Easy question. *Love Actually*

7. Then it is a good dream. *The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers*

8. And, let me guess, you have a great personality. *The Emperor's New Groove*

9. Well, aren't you just a big fat liar. *Sweet Home Alabama*

10. I'd be surprisingly good for you. *Evita*

11. Why would a shark swallow a bottle? *In Search of the Castaway*

12. Help me find the owner of this rather remarkable shoe. *Ever After*

13. On a scale of one to ten, what would you consider the likelihood you might be assassinated? *Stranger Than Fiction*

14. A happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story. *The Last Unicorn*

15. I could never love a Baywatch fan. *Sliding Doors*

16. Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know? *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*


And just in case they haven’t done it, I hope that Housewife, Michelle, Megan, and Zoo Peters participate next.
Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
Post them on your blog for everyone to guess.
Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed.

a little hotel quiz

The first two weeks of the month I spent time at two hotels in Houston and one in Calgary: the Hilton, the Holiday Inn, and the Hyatt. Can you tell which bed belongs to which hotel?
And can the pictures tell you which was the most comfortable?

abc my friday

Like many things, I am not the first. Who beat me? Janssen and Housewife, of course.

Admiring: New cars and the lucky people who own and drive them. (New being relative—anything less than six years old.)

Beating myself up about: Eating food that I know I shouldn’t eat.

Crying over: Spilt milk.

Daydreaming about: Someday being one of the pregnant women that people think are so cute.

Excited because: It’s Friday and we are hanging with Zoo Peters tonight. And she is cooking. You have no idea how jealous you should be.

Frustrated because: My to-do list never seems to shrink.

Grateful for: blinds that Justin put up over my office window (also I’m grateful that my desk is one of the few in the office that looks out a window) to block out the sun and the sunny reflection on the cars in the parking lot. The constant glare was giving me headaches and the blinds have made a huge difference in my ability to stay at work. Although sometimes I still have to wear my sunglasses in the office. I’m grateful for sunglasses.

Hate-filled and seething over: critical emails that get forwarded to lists of people who were not involved in any part of the original discussion, and that are critical about things that are not even accurate, and that will lead to wasted time and incorrect assumptions.

Indignant because: I’m rarely wrong (at work) (What? I'm not! I'm freakishly smart.) and I don’t like being accused of incompetence.

Just shoot me now because: Once again it looks like we’ll get freezing temperatures this weekend and I just don’t know how much more my little garden can take.

Kidding myself regarding: How cute the little pigtails really are.

Listening to: “Whole Wide World” by Eric Goulden

Mooning over: Shirts that are (a) long enough that I don’t need a tank top, (b) short sleeve so that I can wear them in the summer, (c) dressy enough that I can wear them to work, (d) casual enough that I can wear them on the weekend, and (e) somewhat attractive. Suggestions?

Need: A realistic exercise plan.

Obsessing over: The one toenail that looks sad and stumpy and like it doesn’t want to join the “pretty toenail party.”

Praying: That the plan will go, you know, according to plan.

Questioning: How long this nasty blemish with stay on my chin. Any bets? We’re up to three weeks and counting.

Reading: 1776, and while it’s interesting and I’m impressed with the drive and courage of those men, I’m not loving it like I want to.

Singing: The song I’m listening to. Also, I have been singing “She,” from the movie Notting Hill, (which we watched last night) in my head during the breaks when no music is playing.

Trying: to motivate myself to do some actual work. This leads directly to my frustration that my to-do list never gets any shorter.

Unnerved by: How much smoother our drive is with new tires. Should I have been more worried about our safety with the shaky-shakes the past three months?

Voicing: My opinion that being constantly monitored makes me uneasy and a less-productive employee.

Wondering: If I will ever be able to open the blinds all the way again.

X-ray: My foot. Are the bones really collapsing? Is that really something that happens?

Yawning over: pictures of other people’s pets. Seriously. I agree that your kids are cute and I like to see how they are growing up, but, um, your puppy? Not so much. Even when you pose it in the spring tulips.

Zoinks: Only two more hours of work time?!? I definitely need to get some things done here.

the best is yet to be

america's attic

I had not been to Canada before in my adult life, so I was thrilled that my work took me to Calgary so that I could see what all the fuss was about. My opinion of the city might have been swayed by the fact that I was about to rendezvous with Carol, but I'll try to keep her out of things. (Like that is even possible. I enjoy traveling so much more when I can meet up with friends who live there and can take me out of the hotel. My personal tour of the city amazing and I hope I enjoy Calgary even half as much as I did with Carol.)

Carol took me to do what any good American does in Canada--buy chocolate (shhhh, don't tell Somebody.) The store was a lot like Walmart, only not, and with these awesome shoes. My big regret was that they didn't have any of the green ones in my size. Dang.
Oh! How could I forget? Before the big store we stopped for the best french fries ever. EVER. I can't believe I didn't take a picture because, honestly, I could have eaten them all night. And after the store we went for dinner, and then, get ready for it, we got the best hot chocolate ever. Ever! Can you even imagine it? The best french fries and the best hot chocolate in the same city? I know. Crazy.
Seriously. Best. Hot chocolate. Ever. Ever. We had to cool it down a little by holding it outside the car, but once it reached drinkable temperature I was in heaven. Or Canada.

And Canada has these:Maybe they have them in other big cities--the footprints so that you have somewhere to step so that your heel doesn't go through the grate. Awesome. Other things I loved about Calgary:

• Every flight I took had empty seats, left on time, and arrived at my destination a little early. I could not have been more pleased.
• Did you know that you have to pay for plastic bags at the grocery store? I think it is a great way to encourage bringing re-usable, canvas bags.
• Everyone I met was so polite--the taxi drivers, hotel staff, people in restaurants and walking around.
• As I was walking around the downtown area by myself in the morning, I passed a city worker cleaning some outdoor benches. There weren't other people on the street and so I could hear him very clearly singing in Italian. It was almost like a whole other world there listening to him sing.
• The weather was perfectly cold. I prefer weather to be a little on the chilly side and was comfortably cool the whole time.

The one thing I didn't like about going into Canada was going through customs. I knew that I wasn't doing anything wrong, but the inquisition was a little too thorough and the customs official actually said, "You know, we can't let just anyone in to Canada." Well, thanks for that. Also, my laptop is heavy. It was never meant to be carried around the Denver airport or anywhere else.

all tied up in knots

Remember how I like mangos? Well, I do. Lots. And lots. Today the dessert with lunch was a little things called Mango Explosion. I kid you not. Mango that collided with cake and the result was a freakish amount of yummy. Texas, I just might come back. But hopefully not to Houston, because people, I have been warned.

things that must go

A radio station in the state I used to live in had a segment called “things that must go.” I will copy them here, because, seriously, there are a lot of things that bug the crap out of me and Must. Go.

1. Music on blogs. A few days ago, the wise and lovely Janssen posted about how she hates blogs that have a reduced view in Reader that required her to click through to their web site to read each post. I could not agree with her more. There are some blogs that I am willing to click through to (because I know the writing or pictures will be worth it) but in general I just skip over such posts. And then I delete them from my list of blogs to read. You know what is just lovely about Reader, beside the easy access to hundreds of blog feeds? The fact that you don’t have to risk having annoying music start playing when you open some blogs. People, why do you do that to me? If you want to hear music then just play it on your own computer? Why do you want to share it with me? Oh, because you know I like shared music? Well, not of that variety. I know I can scroll down and turn the music player off, but mostly what I do instead is close the page. And then shake my fist at the heavens, roll my eyes, and move on to blogs that don’t assault my ears.

2. Really low toilet paper dispensers in public bathrooms. Is this some sort of ADA thing? Because I can’t imagine what kind of disability would allow someone to sit on a normal height toilet and then only be able to access toilet paper that comes out of a dispenser that is secured to the wall in such a way that it is lower than my knees and I must reach down to get the paper. What the? Is there a legitimate purpose for this? What would the harm be in positioning that dispenser a little higher? It bugs me.

3. The “the antioxidants will protect me” grape juice commercial. I don’t even know what brand made this commercial, but whenever it comes on I find myself cringing and changing the channel. Seriously? The antioxidants will protect you? It’s the kind of thing that would be cute if your own child said it, but that seems so contrived and annoying when the child actor does it. It has ruined grape juice for me. Just kidding. I’m not sure there is anything that could truly ruin grape juice for me, but this commercial comes really close. Stop. Please stop.

4. Bad honeydew on fruit bars. People, do you put the honeydew (aka musk melon) there as a space-taker-upper? Oh, you do? Well, knock it off. I like honeydew. A lot. But I don’t like the rock-hard junk that is put out on so many fruit platters. Can you not tell the difference between ripe and yucky? Maybe not. Brush up on that skill, kids, because a ripe honeydew is like a little slice of heaven. In related news, the fruit platter this morning had sliced mango. Mango! How did they know it was my favorite? Mango is another things I just can’t get enough of. Somebody thinks that some time in Taiwan eating it at every meal will cure me of my love, but I doubt it.

5. Disregard for the illness/problems/property of others. What’s up with that? Why must every story of mine be topped by a story that involves you? I’m talking here, people. Focus. And why can’t I just be sick? Why do you have to be more sick? Or handling your sickness better? And why can’t you act like the things of others are important and have value, too? True, they might not be as expensive or fancy as yours, but that doesn’t mean that they have any less importance to the owner. Case in point: today at the board meeting one of the attendees started doodling on the linen tablecloth. In pen. Even though a pad of paper was less than six inches away. A grown women drew on the tablecloth. Why? The only reason I can come up with is that she simply doesn’t take notice of things that are not hers. And that thinking must go.

I’m sure I’ll have more later, which shouldn’t surprise those of you who know me and how I like to talk about the things that bother me.

true confessions

1. I can just not get enough of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I’m in love with the show and am thrilled that they have been having a marathon, um, for the last week or so. Love it. I can’t get enough of the way Kate is completely anal and bossy (also known as: just like me) and Jon is patient and kind and a calm parent (also known as: just like Somebody.) It cracks me up.

2. This morning I got on a plane and spent a good part of my day getting to Texas. Don’t take this personally, but I never wanted to come to Texas. And not even that I didn’t want to come for this particular work meeting, but I never wanted to come to Texas at all. And I hate to say it, but it so far it has lived up to my expectations. I hope that something happens to make me want to return, because so far all I’ve experienced is the lamest mall EVER, (worse even than the old Ogden mall, and that is saying something) and the homeless, and slight fear about my hotel location, and elephants in the hallway. Way to go, Texas.

3. When I’m away from home, I miss my husband with a surprising intensity. Last night I asked him if he wanted to hug me a little bit longer because I was going away and he was going to miss me, and he was all, “Eh. I don’t miss you that much.” What the? I thought everyone was a little bit sadder when they were away from me. No? Anyway, I find that, especially in the evenings, I just feel better about everything when he is there. Which I find surprising because a) I LOVE me some alone time, b) I consider myself an independent and capable person who can function all alone in a new city, and c) at home I sleep better when Somebody is not in the bed, which should and will be a confession of its own. (And it is!) But I miss him. I hate that if I wanted a hug and a kiss that it would basically be, “No hug for you!” When we were on the phone earlier, after a few minutes, he said, “well, I don’t have anything to tell you. Do you have anything to talk about? No? Okay, well, I’m going to go then.” Sometimes it is hard to believe we spent hours on the phone talking when we were first dating. Of course, back then he needed some time to explain how he wanted to date me because he liked me and not because he wanted a green card.

4. I sleep better when Somebody is not in the bed. I’m not the best sleeper in general, but, sadly, my sleep is even less rejuvenating and deep when I have to share the bed. You would think that after two years of marriage I would have gotten over the adjustment but somehow I just haven’t. We usually end up with one of us on the couch, or him staying in the living room until I’ve fallen asleep, or me moving to the other room in the middle of the night, or me just not getting a very good sleep. And somehow that makes me feel like I’m not a very good wife—because I don’t want him all over me when I’m sleeping. And yet. AND YET. Here at the hotel I wish for nothing more than for him to be here. You know, to keep me awake as if we were at home.

5. I hate talking to the strangers sitting next to me on any public transportation. Or public place. Or anywhere, actually. I hate small talk. But today a woman boarded the plane after me and was carrying a magazine that clearly indicated that she was a member of the same church I am. And sat right next to me. And yet I could never think of anything to say to let her know that we had something in common, and even when I wanted to comment on the talk from the magazine that she was reading I didn’t because I didn’t want to end up having to talk for the whole rest of the flight. I’m lame like that. In the end I did strike up a conversation, but I calculated it to begin approximately five minutes before we landed. Oh yeah. I’m all about spreading the good word. Please. I can’t even share what I know with people who would undoubtedly welcome the conversation.

6. I’m a bad suitcase packer. I tend to over-pack on certain things and under-pack on others. You would think that by now I would have the work meeting list of items down pat, and yet here I am again with only one casual shirt. That I will end up wearing every night I’m here. And then on the plane home. I’m going to smell pretty. Don’t worry—I’ll use it as one more reason to not talk to the people sitting near me on the flight home.

friday finds: yellow edition

This week I had a hard time coming up with some good finds. At first I wanted to find items with daffodils, because they seem to be the only flower blooming these days, but daffodil items that I like are few and far between. So then I tried April Fool's items, and, well, several of those were not for young readers (apparently etsy doesn't have policy prohibiting homemade items of objectionable taste, and I have to wonder who is spending time making or buying those items, but to each his/her own). Anyway, I finally settled on yellow items because yellow makes me happy and encourages me that spring and sunshine will be here soon.

1. How could you not dress your child in that and then smile every time you saw them? You can. The End. Lemon Dress: Blossom and Sunny.

2. I have a love/hate relationships with wreaths. I had the dried flowers, wispy sprigs, and Homemaking-ness of many of them. But every so often I come across one that I love and that I could definitely see myself actually hanging on my front door. My hypothetical front door. LES CITRONS Gorgeous Tropical Orchid Wreath: Fantasy of Flowers.

3. I used to have an obsession with candles. And I can't think of a birthday/holiday when I didn't receive at least one candle as a gift. But these, well, these are practically mood lighting. I hope that sentence didn't make you vomit a little. Celestial Votive Holders: Moonlightbaker.

4. This was the very first yellow item I loved and the one that spurred the whole yellow list. I love it. Love. It. It is so cheery and bright and quite possibly a one-size-fits-all. Sign me up. Yellow Explosion Bracelet: Pepper Design.

5. No privileged little girl my age grew up without Strawberry Shortcake. I loved those dolls, but mostly because they just smelled so good. This is Lemon Meringue and her pet frog, Frappe. Do you remember them? Has your life seemed incomplete without them? Because the notes say she still smells sweet. Lemon meringue with frappe: Trunk of Prettys.

6. When Somebody and I talk about life options that don't involve me going to work, we often talk about the things I will be doing instead. "Sewing aprons" and selling them and making millions is usually way up there on the list*. Right under "open cupcake shop with friends." Why? I don't know. I live on the edge like that. In any case, I'm always on the lookout for cool apron patterns, and this one was appealing. It is reversible with yellow on the back. Bumblee Heaven Apron: Burst of Happiness.

*I have never sewed an apron before.

Update: Okay, seriously? I've tried to edit the spacing on this, like, 11 times, and it keeps reformatting to having no spaces and a weird size of font. What's going on? My last post was like this, too? I would hate to think that I'm a bad blogger, and so I want to blame Blogger, but has anyone else had this problem? And how did you fix it?

when planted it will grow

Remember two months ago when I stubbed my toe and was all, ouch, feel sorry for me? I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to take another picture to show you just how black and gross it still was. Pull out a little of that initial sympathy for me because today when I visited the podiatrist he decided that the nail was dead and that he should probably pull it off. Oh yeah. Nothing warms my heart like words that let me know that someone is going to cause pain to my feet. So here I sit with nine (and a nub) toenails. It’s a hot look.

***************

My mom and I stopped by a Whole Foods Market this afternoon for a look around, some flax seed, and dinner. We have been in the store before and were nothing short of impressed by the sight and smells in their deli section. Have you been there? It’s like a million things that look yummy and yet are also organic and probably very healthy. We decided on some grilled vegetable pizza and I have never felt so healthy after a pizza dinner. Here’s the thing, though. I’m not sure how much I buy into the whole organic, natural, free-range, additive free food stuff. I mean, in theory I think it sounds like a good way to live. Natural. Fresh. But is organic cilantro worth paying four times as much for a bundle? What does the organic-ness do for me? Do the health benefits warrant the money? I often fall back on that old, “well, I wasn’t raised on that, and neither were my parents, or their parents, and we all turned out just fine,” thing. And I know that more and more chemicals and artificial flavor/color/texture are added to food than thirty years ago. The other part of this dilemma is that part of me wants to be that kind of person. I want to make healthy choices and put only good food in my body. And yet, I just can’t make myself pay that extra money. I’m a Whole Foods critic/wanna-be. It’s an interesting mix.

***************

We’ve started our square foot gardens (spurred primarily by Ann’s garden of amazingness) and are eager for spring weather to really arrive so we can put all the more sensitive vegetables out. Pictures and more information will follow. Somebody is a master gardener. Seeds that he plants sprout up in no-time under his tender care. He speaks sweet-nothings to the tiny buds, scoops in the perfect amount of water, takes care to give them the right amount of sunlight, and in all ways makes their survival a priority. I think he must check on their progress at least a dozen times each day. Master. Gardener. How lucky am I that he approaches his relationship with me in much the same kind, attentive, selfless way? Oh, yeah. Me and the plants are thriving under his care.

for amiga tags

I made the sign all by myself.

Update: Who is Amiga Tags?

friday finds: april showers edition

New and improved Friday finds. A much shorter list, but that doesn't mean I love it any less. I chose the April showers because, first, I just can't wait for April to get here because then we are that much closer to May and June, and second, because it has been rainy and dreary for several days so it just seems appropriate.

1. This print just screams optimism to me. I’m tempted to actually purchase it. I love it. I love the expression on the boy’s face. I love the yellow umbrella. I love the blues of the sky. Love. It. Up, up and Away: Arian

2. There is something about the name of this necklace, Cloud Burst, that I enjoy. I love the colors of the stones and the way it really does remind me not only of the sky during rain, but also of the way it makes the grass greener. Cloud Burst: Homespun City

3. How can you not love this? You might not be able to see if clearly, but the painting, besides have rain and umbrellas, also has the words “It won’t be long til happiness steps up to greet me…” and the person under the far left umbrella has their hand out to feel the rain. Happiness Steps Up To Greet Me: Elloh

4. I couldn’t have included this if it wasn’t called “In April,” so I’m glad I could. I’m a sucker for greens and yellows so this suits me perfectly. The colors are earth, life, newness, and hope—everything that spring brings. In April: Cserdan

5. Again with the baby stuff. I just can’t help myself. Babies will love playing with the ribbons, and the soft fleece looks so cuddly! I almost want to have one to entertain myself in church. Happy Rain Cloud: The Willow Tree

we have only to persevere to conquer

Today is my two-year blogiversary. Thank you. Thank you. While my first blogiversary was marked with snowstorms after a spring weekend, (hey! A lot like this year, too) it was also marked by our return from our trip to Taiwan and China, the details and photos of which I have failed to complete and post. And this brings me to the overwhelming emotion of blogiversary zwei. Failure.

I feel like I’m kind of a failure at blogging, because I just can’t be consistent.

Also, I’m kind of a failure at my job, because while I usually blame all things that go wrong there on, um, Judy, it became painfully obvious this week that my hate of work is also because I’m lazy and I hate to work. I would much rather be reading a book, or reading blogs, or anywhere but editing the minutes from the last board meeting. Being lazy does not help me love my job, and all my attempts to pretend it is fun have failed. Failure.

I have been doing my best to overcome a certain medical problem that has plagued me since our move to Kansas, but nothing I do seems to help. The doctors are a little bit at a loss (although, perhaps this is a failure on their part, but I’m the one in pain) and the last time I went in I was pretty much told that I very well might have this my whole life and that it is quite likely that my pregnancy, should I choose to get pregnant, will be slightly affected. Healing? Failure.

I was hoping this year would be the year I started choosing fruit over brownies, but, alas, the call of the chocolate cookie is too strong for me to consistently resist. Failure.

Sometimes when people I know and love call me I choose to not answer the phone. Am I busy at the time? Sometimes. But sometimes I just don’t know if I have the energy to be a good friend. And I get so tired of saying, “oh, nothing interesting at all is going on here and I have become the most boring friend you have.” Because taking what I want and then demanding more is something I have mastered. Giving, being a friend who stays in touch, and making others happy? Failure.

But the worst of all, and the one that I wish most of all I could succeed at, is that sometimes I feel like I’m a failure at marriage. I mean, granted, I’m still married, and give Somebody credit for that, but in general I kind of suck at putting the needs of others first. It is a great flaw that I cleverly hid while dating. But it’s hard, yo. It’s hard to not think sometimes that it would be easier to give up. It’s hard to not sometimes wonder what life would be like if I was single. It’s hard to not blame the person closest to you when things start going the way you don’t want them to. But you know what is even harder? Feeling like you are failing at the thing you want most. I can’t imagine the emotional (not to mention spiritual and physical) devastation that will occur should failure actually happen. And so I fight on. I can fail in all the other areas and still somehow sleep at night, but to fail in my marriage? Unacceptable. My goal for the next year will be to find success, to embrace the steps forward, and to never give up. Never give in. Never, never, never, never.

In other news, I got my hair highlighted last night and there is no denying the fact that I am blond again.

Also, Somebody is going to get paid to spend two weeks traveling around China this summer. Lucky duck.

he lives to silence all my fears

Here is to egg hunts, chocolate, new dresses, bunnies, chicks, jelly beans, tulips, ham, baskets, lilies, and the knowledge that an empty tomb signified the promise of everlasting life.
Happy Easter.

friday finds--easter edition

So...not so much with the handmade this edition. Next time? And perhaps by next week I'll have come up with a better way to list these so that it is not a million huge pictures in a list. Ah, next time.

First, could there even be an Easter without the mini eggs? I think not. Cadbury Mini Eggs: this 42 oz bag available at amazon.com. Because when I think mini eggs, I think 42 oz. Maybe I should get two.
I'm not usually a big fan of cutesy salt and pepper shaker sets, but this one is the exception. Functional? Does it even matter? Look at those bunnies! Cottontail salt and pepper shakers: wrapables.com
There are few things more fragile than egg shells, so the idea of growing berries, flowers, or herbs out of one seems highly unlikely. Unless, of course, you had these egglings. Ceramic eggs with organic soil and ready-to-sprout seeds: Red Envelope
I think it was the red that caught my eye, but it was the green and blue that held me. I like the non-matchiness of it all. I like that it is screaming spring in my ear. I like how it almost, just maybe, could have been done by hand. Graphic garden plates: Pottery BarnWe are surrounded with the baby mania, and love being just on the edge of it. We aren't members of the parent club right now, but we are close enough that I can't help but always have an eye out for cute baby things. The pink dots, besides being very "spring" and "Easter," also remind me of watermelon. These groovy bibs are from modern kid stuff.comEvery Easter growing up we had an Easter tree made by sticking pussy willow branches in a large vase and then hanging wooden egg ornaments. I couldn't find any good pictures of the pussy willow tree, but these ornaments do a great job of taking me back to 1984. And, seriously, who doesn't want to go back to 1984 every now and then? Wooden egg 0rnaments: Williams Sonoma
Are you in love? I am. I want to own them all. This might be, hands down, my favorite Easter find. Wool felt Easter eggs: Pink Sweetie's shopThese little cards rank pretty high up there on my list of things that other people made that I wish I could call my own. Lucky, for a few bucks, I can call these my own. Chicks Mini Card Set: Nycole's shop

I have to admit that these eggs drew me in immediately. I especially love that they are orange and so don't perfectly match the typical Easter decor. Wood eggs decoupaged with decorative papers: Catnip Studio's shop

Don't these just make you want to have an egg hunt? I thought so. Puffy treat bags: Pottery Barn Kids

let's just say i loathe it all

What is worse than multiple days of head-shattering migraines?

I'll tell you: Having one hit after 20 minutes at work, and then having your boss tell you, "I get migraines all the time and just work right through them," and then leaving anyway to sleep all day, and then waking up the next day to fuzziness and pain, and then emailing the office to say you are still feeling horrible and you won't be coming in, and then to have the only reply be, "make sure you are aware of the balance of your sick time account."

For the sweet love. Thanks for the kind words of empathy and the approval to take all the time I need to get feeling better. Wait, did my sick time account zero out yesterday at noon? Yes. Yes, it did.

friday favoriates--luck of the irish edition

I'm not sure what prompted my desire to give you a list of my favorite finds each Friday. Perhaps I like to talk about myself? Probably. I started just looking for things that I thought were pretty, and somewhere along the way thought that maybe I should be looking only at homemade items, you know, in my effort to support Somebody in his ban of all things from China. So, perhaps for future installments of the Friday Favorites you will only see items that were handmade. We shall see. Remember when I was going to take a picture a day? Yeah. That's working out real well.

Here are just a few things that will brighten your St. Patrick's Day celebrations. They are sure you keep the annoying pinching fingers of others away from you, and, well, they are pretty. Also, pardon the spacing here. Sometimes Blogger is a little pain in the rear when it comes to spacing things the way I would like to.

Hosting a leprechaun gathering? You are going to need this for the appetizers. Multiple pieces of colored glass. Two separate kiln firings. Perfection. Spring Plate: Drew Jaeger

To be honest, I thought this was a belt. I liked it more as a belt. Still, though, it is a pretty cool dog collar. Martingale Dog Collar: Classic Hound

A handmade, crocheted purse. With bumps. Awesome bumps. Seriously, I'm a sucker for a good green. Green Bobble Purse She Knits by Amy

I love the spring-time-ness of this color combination. Zippered Pouch: Sarah Kincheloe

Need a little luck? Just rest your head on this lovely pillowcase--guaranteed to bring dreams of the pot of gold. Good Luck Pillowcase: Tiny Stitches
Did you know that the three leaves on a standard clover stand for hope, faith, and love? Use this to grow your own clovers, and you just that much closer to finding a four-leaf clover that will give you luck beyond your wildest dreams! Lucky Clover Windowsill Garden from Toysmith: Oompa Toys

Crocheted beanie with a little visor and a big flower. Also, I like that cute blond hair. Flowered Beanie: PDX Beanies
This might be the coolest laptop bag I've ever seen. It wouldn't even need to be St. Patrick's Day for me to carry this around. Laptop Briefcase: Janine King Designs
Kiss me--I'm magically delicious? Um, okay. Should Somebody show up wearing this, he would totally get kissed. Magically Delicious Shirt: Cafe Press

Letterpress card set that just makes me swoon. I love the fragility of the swirls. Green Swirls Card: Pistachio Press
Should you find yourself with no other green clothing on Monday morning, this hair clip will keep the pinches away. Fabric Hair Clip: Maya Papaya

Four blank note cards. Too cute to pass up. Bird on a Cage Cards: Just Another Day
A cool version of a sun catcher, these swirled glass shamrocks are made to suction to your window. Shamrock window sticky: Glass Cat

I'm in the mood for some cool serving platters and bowls, and this fit the bill nicely. Whimsical Circle Bowl: chARiTy elise

I love onesies. Love them. You won't even have time to think about pinching your baby in this outfit because you'll be too busy just eating him right up. Two Apples Onesie: Quilt Baby

too early to say that it's over

How do you come back from a long absence? You just do. Nothing fancy. Nothing big. No excuses. Just a list.

While I spent that last month most certainly not writing any blog posts (except the million I wrote in my mind) I was reading and reading and reading like crazy hundreds of posts by other people. And I found my way back to my blog after reading this post.

And so I took her challenge.

My Love List

I love that my desk is right in front of a window (more like a big glass door that is sealed shut, but whatever) and that I can look out and see a big field on a hill in the distance. I love that, back in the fall, I could watch the farmer harvesting in the field, and now that it is warming up, I can see the farmer out again, walking with his dogs and getting ready for spring. Something about seeing those activities makes my day better, and I really enjoy the reminder of how I am connected to the earth. I love how the warm water from the shower loosens the tension in my neck and shoulders each morning. I love that there are no knobs on the cabinets in the bathroom to catch the cords of my blow dryer and curling iron. I love chenille socks. I love putting a heating pad between my sheets before I get in bed so that the space where my feet will go gets all toasty warm. I love McDonald’s French fries. I love fingernails that are trimmed to the same length. I love genuine laughter. I love the smell of garlic and onions cooking. I love looking at a map and dreaming of future trips. I love church bells, especially when they ring at night. I love looking at the clock, realizing it is almost 5 pm, and thinking that the afternoon as passed by quickly. I love evenings without commitments. I love getting lost in a good book. I love meeting people and instantly connecting over multiple similarities. I love the occasional day when I don’t really have to talk to anyone, and equally love time with friends that is spent talking for hours and hours. I love pretty pictures, especially of nature. I love sunsets and counted them as a main reason to move back to Kansas. I love the mountains, and miss chances to go to them. I love happy tears. I love the TV show Jon and Kate Plus 8. I love pictures of me when my hair was longer and blonder. I love a meal that someone else has cooked for me, but I also love to be in the kitchen. I love it when I crave a particular food, am able to find a new recipe, and the finished product is exactly what I was craving. I love cookies and cream ice cream, and I love walks to the Creamery to buy ice cream. I love to drive fast, preferably well above the speed limit. I love all breakfast foods. I love being outside when the weather is comfortable. I love the way the clouds move when a storm is approaching, and I love standing, watching it coming, and feeling the wind move faster and faster. I love the first drops of a heavy rain. I love wearing ponytails. I love ice water. I love worn-in jeans. I love Sketchers shoes without laces. I love, surprisingly, wearing high-ish heals. I love exchanging looks with friends and coworkers—the kind of looks that communicate a sometimes-lengthy message that you both absolutely understand. I love the color of my eyes, and the way they look all teal and green in the evenings. I love earrings that are just long enough that I can feel them tap against my neck when I shake my head. I love the color kelly green. I love my local library. I love that sometimes the right and best answer just comes. I love Cottonelle toilet paper. I love the roasted red pepper sauce at Quiznos, and come to think of it, love most things that are roasted red pepper anything. I love oranges that have been peeled by other people. I love reasons to get dressed up. I love the comfort of my couch. I love that I see and feel the hand of the Lord in my life daily. I love fleece blankets. I recently discovered that I love swimming. I love to gossip. I love hearing about the successes of others. I love hearing that the rules are fair. I love the Toyota RAV4. I love keyless entry on cars. I love finding a parking space next to the cart storage area in parking lots. I love Ziploc bags, especially when traveling when I put just about everything I pack into different Ziploc bags. I love that there is something about having everything you think you'll ever need sitting in the seat next to you. I love listening to stories that require no response from me. I love wandering through bookstores and fabric stores, dreaming of the things I will read and sew someday. I love knowing what time it is, and I love having a schedule that is planned in advance. I love cards and mix cds that come in the mail. I love looking through photos of previous trips and experiences and seeing obvious looks of happiness of everyone’s faces. I love cherries, and cherry trees in bloom. I love TV shows that tell the how, when, or why things are made. I love decorating cakes. I love making lists, even if I never cross anything off them. I love getting emails. I love clearing out my email inbox and having everything organized into folders. I love a well-cared-for garden. I love sitting with my feet up on the couch. I love finding just the right words to express exactly what I want to express. I love taking self-portraits. I love feeling that I belong, and that sometimes the belonging, more than accomplishing, is what brings meaning to many situations. I love the smell of tomato plants. I love researching anything and everything online; I love going into a purchase, large or small, knowing I am making an informed decision. I love musicals and singing along. I love honesty—with others, from others, and especially with myself. I love the expressions “not so much” and “shut right up.” I love going out to eat, especially when someone else is paying. I love knowing that no matter what I do, and no matter how many times I fail, and no matter what kind of mess I make, that I will always have somewhere to go home to, will always have people who will take care of me, and will always be able to find meaning and hope beyond what the world can give me.

The challenge: make your own list. The only catch? You can't include a single person you know on your list. No "I love the way my husband laughs" or "I love hearing my little girl call for me." It'll be tough, I know. But this particular little exercise is about stripping away everyone who defines you and figuring out what you (not his partner; not their mother/daughter/sister/friend) love