a list

I copied this from Sherry—she of the “make your own game and make it sound so fun that others might search for it and purchase it off eBay and love it.” Thank you, Sherry. I’ve continued Sherry’s twist by italicizing the ones I think are completely unnecessary, that I don't even WANT to do, or that I hope that I never do. All the others I think would be fun or provide a memorable life experience. The ones in bold are the ones I have already done.

1. Touched an iceberg
2. Slept under the stars
3. Been a part of a hockey fight
4. Changed a baby’s diaper
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Swam with wild dolphins
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a tarantula
10. Said “I love you” and meant it
11. Bungee jumped (I have a horrid fear of heights and falling)
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a professional sports game
17. Been to the top of the Sears Tower (but I HAVE been to the top of Taipei 101)
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Bet on a winning horse
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Taken an ice cold bath
28. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Ridden a roller coaster
31. Hit a home run
32. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
33. Adopted an accent for fun
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment
36. Loved your job 90% of the time
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (the feeling was fleeting)
38. Watched wild whales
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Gone on a midnight walk on the beach
41. Gone sky diving (see #11)
42. Visited Ireland
43. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited India
45. Bench-pressed your own weight
46. Milked a cow
47. Alphabetized your personal files
48. Ever worn a superhero costume
49. Sung karaoke
50. Lounged around in bed all day
51. Gone snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Done something you should regret, but don’t
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Sung on a CD
60. Gone without food for 3 days
61. Made cookies from scratch
62. Won first prize in a costume contest
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Been in a combat zone
65. Spoken more than one language fluently
66. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
67. Bounced a check
68. Read and understood your credit report
69. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
70. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
71. Called or written your Congress person
72. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
73. Seen the Golden Gate Bridge
74. Helped an animal give birth
75. Been fired or laid off from a job
76. Won money
77. Broken a bone
78. Ridden a motorcycle
79. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
80. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
81. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
82. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than two days
83. Eaten sushi
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the Bible cover to cover
86. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
87. Gotten someone fired for their actions
88. Gone back to school
89. Changed your name
90. Caught a fly in the air with your bare hands
91. Eaten fried green tomatoes
92. Read The Iliad
93. Taught yourself an art from scratch
94. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
95. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
96. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
97. Been elected to public office (do junior high or high school office count?)
98. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
99. Had to see someone you love in hospice care
100. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
101. Had a booth at a street fair
102. Dyed your hair
103. Been a DJ
104. Rocked a baby to sleep
105. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all fours
106. Raked your carpet
107. Brought out the best in people
108. Brought out the worst in people
109. Worn a mood ring
110. Ridden a horse
111. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap
112. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe
113. Buried a child
114. Gone to a Broadway play on Broadway
115. Been inside the pyramids
116. Shot a basketball into a basket
117. Danced at a disco
118. Played in a band
119. Shot a bird
120. Gone to an arboretum
121. Tutored someone
122. Ridden a train
123. Brought an old fad back into style (I am quite confident this will never happen)
124. Eaten caviar
125. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn’t need
126. Ridden a giraffe or elephant
127. Published a book
128. Pieced a quilt
129. Lived in an historic place
130. Acted in a play or performed on a stage
131. Asked for a raise
132. Made a hole-in-one
133. Gone deep sea fishing
134. Gone roller skating
135. Run a marathon
136. Learned to surf (and I thought snowboarding was tough…)
137. Invented something
138. Flown first class
139. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury suite
140. Flown in a helicopter
141. Visited Africa
142. Sung a solo
143. Gone spelunking
144. Learned how to take a compliment
145. Written a love story
146. Seen Michelangelo’s David
147. Had your portrait painted
148. Written a fan letter
149. Spent the night in something haunted
150. Owned a St. Bernard or Great Dane (this will never, ever, ever happen)
151. Run away
152. Learned to juggle
153. Been a boss
154. Sat on a jury
155. Lied about your weight
156. Gone on a diet
157. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget
158. Written a poem
159. Carried your lunch in a lunchbox
160. Gotten food poisoning
161. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission
162. Hiked the Grand Canyon
163. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks
164. Gone to the opera
165. Gotten a letter from someone famous
166. Worn knickers
167. Ridden in a limousine
168. Attended the Olympics
169. Can hula or waltz
170. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books
171. Been stuck in an elevator
172. Had a revelatory dream
173. Thought you might crash in an airplane
174. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert
175. Saved someone’s life
176. Eaten raw whale
177. Know how to sew
178. Laughed till your side hurt
179. Straddled the equator
180. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing
181. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival
182. Sent a message in a bottle
183. Spent the night in a hostel
184. Been a cashier
185. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
186. Joined a union
187. Donated blood or plasma
188. Built a campfire
189. Kept a blog
190. Had chicken pox
191. Worn custom made shoes or boots
192. Made a PowerPoint presentation
193. Taken a Hunter’s Safety Course
194. Served at a soup kitchen
195. Conquered the Rubik’s cube
196. Know CPR
197. Ridden in or owned a convertible
198. Found a long lost friend
199. Helped solve a crime
200. Received a professional massage

And because 80 and 162 are the same thing, I’m adding one more thing to do:
201. Lived in a foreign country long enough that it felt (almost) like home

everyone is doing it

I copy people. (Fine. Janssen. I copy Janssen. Who doesn't?) I was happy to see that Somebody ranked way up there in words I use a lot, but also delighted that horrible, ridiculous, whatever, and um made appearances.

You can get your own Word cloud from Wordle.

day 14

The holiday weekend was wonderful. I couldn’t have asked for better weather for spending the day outside than we had. We cleaned the house and the yard from top to bottom, had some wonderful friends over for a BBQ, and then drove to my brother’s for a fireworks show. I missed having Somebody here, especially when his usual job of preparing and grilling the meat was passed along to me, but was thrilled with my first Cherry Day not in the NOG.

The hot, humid Kansas summer weather has apparently taken my skin back to high school, which was pretty much the last time I spent any kind of quality time here. The blemishes are coming back with a vengeance. It seems that Kansas can destroy in 11 months what Utah took 12 years to heal.

I’m watching Enchanted tonight. I watched it last night, too. I love this movie. My new favorite line: “We adore each filthy chore that we determine. So, friends even though you’re vermin we’re a happy working song.” Too funny. Or when Pip is acting out Nathaniel giving Giselle the poison apple and Edward is all, “oh, oh, I know this!” And when Giselle decides to go to the ball and says, “I don't know where to find a fairy godmother at this late hour." Seriously cracking me up.

I stopped at the library after work yesterday to pick up a few of the books that Janssen recommended. While browsing through the youngun’s section I happened to see an Encyclopedia Brown book sitting out and brought that one home with the others. I remember loving those books when I was younger. So far I’ve read through five mysteries and have successfully solved ONLY ONE. I rock.

day nine

The natives are getting restless. A few nights ago when the Alpha Female was picking out clothing for her trip she asked me for some feedback and suggestions. What the? It only took her a few questions along the lines of, "which of these earrings do you prefer?" and "Should I wear these pants with the black shirt or the red shirt?" before she signed wearily and said, "When is Somebody coming home?" And the Alpha Male just forlornly looks around, obviously outnumbered, and putters lonesomely in his garden. I'm not sure they can take much more of this. I, on the other hand, have taken up refuge in front of my computer. While that is not entirely unusually, the length of time I spend here is more than I normally would. My strategy for survival is easy: blogs, more blogs, So You Think You Can Dance, sewing projects, blogs, and some books. I work hard to distract myself from the silence. And you know what is especially difficult? I am very used to being touched and miss the contact.

Other random thoughts:
* I hate it when a song gets stuck in my head. Hate it. Especially because it is never the entire song--it's always just a few words playing over and over again. Like today, for example. A few lyrics from Bleeding Love go around and around: And I keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love. You cut me open. Over. And over. And over. This happened with this same song just a couple of days ago and the repeat was so bad that I actually had difficultly shutting it off so that I could sleep. And when I woke up in the middle of the night it started again and kept me awake for a long while. Does this happen to anyone else? The last time a song stuck so well was The Wizard and I which, quite frankly, made my honeymoon a little less than dreamy. And before that it was These Words which I stupidly had set to be my ringtone. Wow. I learned that lesson fast. Anyway, I'm SO tired of bleeding love and I feel quite cut open.

* The punk teenage boys that live near us (their house backyard touches ours, but in the far corner) were out shooting off fireworks this afternoon. I at first thought it was just a gun, but after repeated loud noises got up to see what was going on. (Do you like that? How I'm less concerned about a gun than fireworks?) Anyway, the noise was kind of annoying and I really badly wanted to yell down from the porch for them to knock it off. But what am I, 87 years old? Seriously. I'm like an old, grouchy woman that stays in her pajamas and yells at the neighborhood kids to quiet the heck down. In case you were wondering, I did NOT tell them to stop and let them continue with their hoodlumism. If there is any damage later I will volunteer a description of the punks.

* I wonder how much of a pay cut I'm actually willing to take to get a job in a field that actually interests me.

* I was using some of my massive amounts of free time to go through some older pictures in my files. These two were ones I almost couldn't stop looking at. Look at those two crazy kids, so young and innocent.

* Have you ever had a friend fade out of your life and then unexpectedly reappear? Well, I did recently. Out of the blue he contacted me, but out of a really nice shade of blue. Almost celadon. Ever since then I've pretty much been blog-stalking his wife**. And can I just say that I find her clever and interesting and someone (although I know this is hard to tell just by reading someone's writing) that I would want to be friends with? Okay, I said it even without your permission. I have nothing but respect for him as a person and am beyond thrilled that his life seems to be going wonderful places and that he has such a lovely family to share it with.

**There is music on that blog. Consider yourself warned.

the day we wasted cake

And not just any cake. A perfectly good red velvet cake. I had seen the blog. You know you've seen it too and were curious. I mean, how can something so stinking cute not also taste fantastic? She was on Martha Stewart, for goodness sakes. And on the blog there were so many great variations and I just couldn't help myself. I had to give it a shot. There is no one better to try experimental cake treats with than Scrumptious Cupcakes and Camera Addict. None.

We followed the directions. Bake cake. Let cool. Crumble. Add can of frosting. Check, check, check, and check. Roll into balls.
Make huge mess on your hands and feel sticky and somehow like it's all wrong, but smile for the camera. Wonder why Camera Addict has way better clothing than you do. Realize it's because she has way better taste than you do. Think about changing her name to Clothing Addict. Console yourself by sampling the cake/frosting mixture. Feel worse.
Place evenly on sheet to firm. Place in refrigerator to speed the process. Attend wedding and then skip wedding luncheon to shop at IKEA. Don't feel guilty.
Cover with melted chocolate. Drizzle some contrasting chocolate for dazzling effect. Sample. Spit sample into sink. Assume you got a rotten one. Notice everyone else is making frowny faces. Wonder what you did wrong. Console yourself with Cafe Rio.
Seriously. These were not tasty. I mean, that were okay. Barely. Not worth the effort AT ALL. All of us wished we had just eaten the cake on its own. If you've tried these, let me know what you thought and maybe where we might have gone wrong.

somewhere out there

It is kind of strange to have so much time go by without talking to the person that I usually talk to the most. Every other trip he or I have taken has either been shorter or involved multiple phone calls. Multiple. My power to drag out a phone conversation is powerful and hard to resist. This time, though, all we have are email messages and today a short google chat. Was it just my luck that a few minutes after we realized we were both online at the same time (it was 8:50 in the morning for me, and 9:50 in the evening for him) I had to leave my computer and attend a long and boring meeting? Yes, it was just my luck. I almost shed a few tears because, well, even though I can sing about us both being underneath the same blue sky, there is just something special about knowing that at the exact moment I was thinking about him, he was thinking about me. And we were almost talking. And it was hard to walk away.

so, what is he doing in china?

Good question. The details are fuzzy, but the pictures are nice. I have no idea what these are pictures of, but let us bask in their, ah, pictureness. Behold, this is CHICAGO.

And THIS is Shanghai. Notice the difference?

Okay, and this last one? Does anyone have ANY idea what this is?
It's duck tongue. To quote Somebody: "I also bought some duck tongues. It was not as good as I remembered so I did not finish them." Huh. That is so WEIRD that it wasn't very good.

me in the spotlight losing my religion

Friday night I went to dinner with the entire Zoo Peters. Somebody is still out of country so it was just me, Miss L, Super J, and the three kids. Our waiter was a clean-cut fellow and I didn’t think anything of him (other than, “thank you for not stooping down so that your head is the same level as ours to talk to us, because that creeps me out”) until Miss L said, “I think our waiter is Mormon.” “What?” “Yeah, look at his sleeves. I think he is showing his religion.” And so I looked. Well, maybe half an hour later I looked. I got all distracted by a DIVINE lemon muffin and Miss L had to remind me a few times before I remembered to check. It only took one serious glance to agree with her. Yes, he could definitely be Mormon. He practically exuded Recently Returned Missionary. But how would be know? We started bouncing out suggestions for how we could find out. Some were designed to be overheard and see if he would respond knowingly:
“I hope we are not late for our RELIEF SOCIETY activity tonight.”
“Hopefully it won’t rain on our ENRICHMENT later.”
“Have you been to the TEMPLE IN WINTER QUARTERS recently?”
“What songs are you going to teach the kids in PRIMARY tomorrow?”
And on like that.

We also came up with some questions that we could ask. Most involved beginning with, “Excuse me…” and then some question that, if he was Mormon, he would probably be able to answer. And if he wasn’t, well, then he would probably respond with, “What? (Blank stare.) What?”
“…did you go to the fireside in the singles ward last month?”
“…what ward are you in?” (I was a little wary of this one lest he think we were referring to a prison ward.)
“…did you serve a mission?”
“…you look so familiar I think I might have seen you in sacrament meeting last week.”
Super J had the best one by far:
“Excuse me, but my wives were wondering…”

We went back and forth and back and forth and basically cracked ourselves up through the entire dinner. By the time we were ready to leave we were pretty sure we had completely freaked our waiter out with all our staring and laughing. But we still didn’t know. Do you think we could have left there without asking? Uh. No. It ended up being a team effort.
Super J: “Excuse me, but we were wondering…”
Silence.
Me: “What church do you go to?”
Silence.
Waiter: “What?”
Me: “What church do you go to?...”
Miss L: “Because you look kind of familiar and we think we might have seen you there. Maybe.”
Waiter: “I go to the blah blah blah up on blah blah blah. But I kind of hop around to different churches. Maybe you DID see me! Which church do you go to?”

And then I realized my mistake. I didn’t want to know which CHURCH he went to, I wanted to know which RELIGION he belonged to. Oh well. A different religion from us, that is for sure. I really wanted the moral of this story to be that Miss L can spot a Mormon from a mile away, but really I guess the ending is that we Mormons don’t have any kind of monopoly on kindness, smiles, clean-cut-ness, or politeness. Or maybe it is that religion, whatever kind you practice, can shine through you. Or maybe it is that I'm really glad that we can find so much humor in both the uniqueness and the stereotypes of our religion.

Stayed tuned for next time when Super J says, “My wives both took some Jell-O to the nursery when…”

taking charge and taking off

Somebody just called to say that they are in the airport with all intentions to actually leave the country today. You can all pray for his safe travel and return. Last night the play they went to was "The Last Days of Judas Iscariot", and, well, his disliked it enough that they left quite early and went to dinner instead. At first I thought he left the theater and the boy he was in charge of stayed, but then he clarified that they both left the theater. "Did he want to leave, too, or did you make him leave with you?" "It was more of a 'and now we are leaving' kind of event. He didn't have any choice. But dinner was really good and was paid for by the company, so it was a good night."

Bad play. Good dinner. You can't win them all.

darkest before the dawn

Several weeks ago we had some fierce storms come through the Kansas City area (the entire Midwest has had more than its fair share of wet this spring) and one day the storm clouds rolled in at right around Noon. The sky was so eerily dark that I couldn't help but take a few pictures.

This one was taken inside our little covered area**--can you see that the night lights (which turn on automatically at night) have turned themselves on? At Noon. Crazy.

And this one just shows the clouds rolling in from the west a little better. Maybe the pictures don't accurately show it, but it was DARK.

And now this picture? This one of the tall buildings? Yeah. This one was taken the next week while we were in Calgary. At 10 o-clock at NIGHT. Night, people! The whole "stay light all night" things really kind of threw us off. We would be out for dinner and all start yawning and wonder what was going on and then look at our watches and realize it was past 10 p.m. It's crazy up there with all the light.
**As you can see from the picture, several of my coworkers came outside the same time I did to watch the storm clouds and marvel at the darkness. We had only been outside for a few minutes when the employees of the office right across from us all poured out of their building. They shouted across the parking lot to find out what was going on and when we told them we were just watching the storm they all went right back inside. It turns out that one of the employees had seen us all outside and assumed that we had received some secret terrible storm warning and were evacuating the building so he had run around his office and made all his coworkers evacuate as well. I'm not sure what kind of storm he was expecting where the safest thing to do would be go stand around outside, but perhaps he had a slice of irrational with his coffee that morning.

changed for the better

Somebody was supposed to leave Chicago at 10:30 this morning, but instead of getting on an airplane he spent the morning with one of the students at the Chinese Embassy trying to get the student a visa. What the? Seriously? He showed up without a visa? That's a good way to spend your summer vacation in a security cell in the airport in Shanghai. Kids these days. The rest of the group boarded the plane and left the county without them. You know how the company punished them for missing their flight? By booking them on the flight out tomorrow, paying for them to take a tour of Chicago (Somebody called me from his place on a double-decker bus to tell me how much fun he was having) and then buying them tickets to see Wicked! But I'm not jealous. I didn't look online to see if somehow the tickets from Kansas City to Chicago were really cheap so that I could fly up and join him. I didn't put in the Wicked! soundtrack and sing along. I didn't feel a deep longing to be there when I noticed that the Ugly Betty rerun tonight is going to be the one where they go see Wicked! I did, however, get happy at the thought that one more night in Chicago means at least two more phone calls and possibly an email from Somebody. I'm so easily placated.

Update: It turns out that the Wicked! tickets weren't available, so they are going to a different show instead. It's a good thing I didn't book tickets to run up there an join him. Not that I checked on tickets.

being the one left behind

Somebody began the first leg of his trip around the world this morning when he left for Chicago. Tomorrow he will continue on to Shanghai, then to Xi'an, then to Beijing, and then back home again, home again, jiggity-jig.

So, to help me not think about getting into bed by myself tonight, I'm just going to post a picture from one of our most fun days this spring: Can you tell what that is? That is the front door of the theater where we saw Wicked! I had been looking forward to it for months and months and was pretty much giddy with anticipation the entire week before. I was thrilled that Somebody enjoyed it as much as I did. Good times. Good times.

On a completely unrelated note, I was running an errand for a friend in my ward and dropping something off to someone else in my ward, and the woman that I did the dropping off to came outside of her house and chatted with me a little bit tonight. Much to my surprise, she remembered quite a bit about me and Somebody and where we were working and schooling and we had a great conversation. She recommended some books on cd that I should listen to and we exchanged the names of some of our favorite authors. My point here is how random and delightful that 15 minutes was. Here was someone that I probably never would have stopped in to see on my own (even though I drive right by her house on the way to and from work each day) but when I did we immediately found common ground and I left with a smile on my face and, surprisingly, a feeling that the day had gone very well. Isn't it wonderful how the smallest, seemingly inconsequential things, can have such a huge impact on how we see ourselves and our accomplishments?

my eyelashes all in curls

We were out with friends last weekend and happened to wander by a beauty salon/beauty supply store. “Oh we HAVE to go in,” says Miss L. “Okay,” says me, because I’m a follower like that. Turns out she knew of this great (super great!) nail polish that was on sale in little trial sizes that she just HAD to have and who am I to get in the way of a cosmetics purchase. The nail polish came in little sample packs with four colors to a pack, and Miss L thought they would be perfect for painting the little toes of her little zoo kids. Genius. I almost talked her into getting all four, but she exercised better purchasing restraint than I might have exhibited and only bought three. Each one came with a clear top coat. “Are you going to need all those clear ones?” I asked, hoping she wanted to give me one. She did. And this, friends, is where the story turns tragic.

I tried that expensive, wonderful, perfect, super nail polish on my fingernails on Monday. I painted on two coats in the early morning. I spent many moments during the day admiring the shiny glow of my pretty nails. And then it started peeling off (in that crazy cool way that my Tinkerbell polish used to do where the entire polish layer comes off intact.) First one nail at about 3:30 pm. And then another at 6 pm. But the time I was getting ready for bed at 10 pm every single nail was polish free. What gives, expensive nail polish?

Does a top coat not work on plain nails? Must I choose a color? Oh, woe is me and my attempts to girly-up.

cute shoes

I am an aunt for the first time on Somebody’s side. Isn’t she a cutie? Don’t you just want to eat her up? I have to add, here, that we didn’t find out she had been born until several days after her birth (what with her being born in Taiwan and all) and we still, a full month later, don’t know her name. We’re not sure that she has been named, actually. Does all this cuteness even need a name? We call her Cute Shoe, and I think it fits.

flashbacks of old tv commercials

Whenever I type in my zipcode, and I mean every. single. time. I chant in my head “fruity marshmallow krisPIES.” Anyone else?

drinking some tim hortons hot chocolate. oh my.

I’m in Canada again. Calgary, specifically. Can I tell you how exciting that is for me? I actually got giddy butterflies in my stomach as the plane began its descent yesterday. And I just have to say that the hotel that I am staying in, the Hyatt Regency, is possibly the best hotel I’ve ever stayed in (as far as service, planning, accommodations, comfort, and location.) I love it. If I could afford it I might consider living here in this hotel. It sits on Stephen Avenue, which is a wonderful downtown, pedestrian only, shopping area. The weather is cool and dry. The sky is bright blue. If I wasn’t sitting in a board meeting, shoving a pencil in my eye, I might think I was in heaven.

the proper care and feeding of cats

This video brightened an otherwise slightly dreary Thursday.

taking some personal initiative

Some things we have learned today:

• Not all women find the idea of a competition for a date to be flattering or respectful.
• There are a lot of stereotypes about people who live in Provo/attend BYU/are single and LDS. Some are more accurate than others.
• What some call creative, others call tacky. And vice versa.

Some things I still don’t understand:

• Is it really necessary to offer tickets to a concert as incentive to get girls to ask boys out these days? Because if I remember my time in the bubble correctly, there is a lot of that going on without boys needing to entice a girl with concert tickets. Wouldn’t he rather go out with people who are interested in ANYTHING he has to offer beside Stadium of Fire tickets?
• Why is it assumed that because I went to BYU that I despise Democrats and only vote Republican, am ethnically prejudiced, cheap, and spoiled? Or that I don’t want a marriage of respect and equality? It think that is an awfully big leap from “I think this guys might not be on the right track,” to “I wish for a marriage where my husband does everything for me. I suck.”

Some things I think we can all agree on:

• Some boys are shallow. Some girls are shallow. Pretty much all of us have displayed some shallowness in our lives at some point.
• I know very few girls who are not willing to pay for a date, or who would be unwilling to ask a guy out. I think most of us understand that dating goes both ways and that girls need to show their interest just as much as guys do.

I am going to just believe that the site and contest were mostly posted as a gag, (KC himself calls it a "fun summer dating gimmick." (Although he then goes on to say that, "If you find it so awful that I would suggest that a girl take some personal initiative to get a date, I would ask you if sitting at home in sweats with a tub of ice cream watching a chick-flick is a more dignified alternative. Or I hear getting together with your girlfriends for a man-bashing gossip party is a more respectable option too." So, we know the he has received some flack for the gimmick.) and that the boy is generally a good person, and that he didn’t mean any disrespect with the contest. I’m going to believe he just wanted a chance to meet new people and thought this would be fun and unique. I’m going to believe that his grandmother knows about it and thinks it is fine (oh, because she does.)

Mostly, though, I think that the whole thing is stereotypically BYU. In the bad way that people stereotype BYU. I started out being slightly amused and rolling my eyes, and ended up just being glad that it’s not my brother. And if KC marries the girl he takes to the concert, well, won't we all be amazed.

without words

This exemplifies much about what I knew and hated about being a single woman in P-town.

http://kckern.com/date/

Cheapleazy.

no one mourns the wicked

Let’s not beat around the bush: I’ve been in a mood lately. A funky mood. A “one minute I’m happy and relaxed and the next minute I’m grouchy and annoyed” mood. A “please come sit by me because I love you and I need you and the next minute please stop touching me because the touch of another human burns me” mood. A “I am strong and can do this for now and the next minute I burst into tears” mood. I’m going to have to address this at some point, but for now I think I just need to sleep.

cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow

I am not a mother now, but some day I hope to be and these are the ten things I am most looking forward to.
1. Baby smell
2. Seeing Somebody’s features in the little person
3. Joining the mommy club
4. Cute baby clothes
5. Looking forward to my children’s future and the opportunities they will have
6. Hugs and kisses
7. Celebrating the baby milestones (rolling over, laughing, walking, clapping, etc.)
8. Baby laughter
9. Lullaby singing
10. Mostly I have this picture in my mind of standing in a doorway at night, looking into the bedroom of my sleeping child. I’m listening to them breathing and just watching them peacefully sleep. This is the picture that screams “mother” to me—the woman who stays up after the child is sleeping. The woman who watches and worries and loves. The woman who hopes and plans and yearns. The woman who protects and nurtures and defends. The woman who listens and waits. The woman who encourages and celebrates. I had that kind of mother and I want to be that kind of mother. And I can hardly wait.

i wear my sunglasses at night

I do, in general, think that I live a very blessed life. I come from a good family who are all friendly and support one another. I have a good education from a pretty university. I have a loving husband who, conveniently, doesn’t have strong opinions about a lot of things so I get to have my way A LOT of the time. I have a job that usually doesn’t make me want to cry. (I have to revise this a little because I JUST NOW had one of those experience at work that happen every once in a while that make me a very, very angry person who hits people. Sometimes I hate this job.) We have a reliable car, a comfortable place to live, good friends, relatively good health, and a nice standard of living. There is very little, in fact, nothing I can think of right now, that we need and cannot provide for ourselves.

That being said, there are some things that I think would make my life just a little more luxurious. And I have listed them for you now.

Ten things I would buy if I had a million dollars:

Toyota Rav4—Somebody and I had one of these as a rental car once and it only took about 20 minutes to decide that someday I wanted to own one. And someday I shall.

Elliptical trainer—I pretend that the reason I’m not more healthy is because we can’t afford to build me a home gym instead of admitting that I’m lazy. One of these would prove me a liar. Bring it on.

A seamstress to custom-sew all my clothes—because that just sounds nice.

A home in Park City and Taiwan—so that I could see my friends and family any time I wanted to, and at the same time have coconut-curry mussels and lots and lots of fish.

Stocks and bonds and other interest-generating things—to build me a nice, fat retirement account.

Funds for my children and nieces and nephews and siblings—so that we can all be well educated and well traveled. Who wouldn’t want that?

Put a private pool in my backyard to swim laps—again, to further prove to Somebody just how lazy I am. Just kidding. I really believe that if I had this in my yard I would use it and love it much more than I love the skuzzy floors of my local public pool.

Build a greenhouse for Somebody—so that he can use his green thumb to its fullest potential. He is a gardening genius and I wish that he had better equipment to grow all the things he wants to.

Go to culinary school—so that I can cook all the things I see other people making and so that I am not intimidated by anything new in a recipe. I want to develop mad knife-wielding skills.

A private jet (with staff and fuel)—again, so that I can see my family and friends any time I want and not have to take my shoes off before I get on the plane.

tattoos and tradition

We got home late, and then what with all the dinner eating and The Office watching and muffin making, it's now too late to spend an hour putting together my list for today. I will instead leave you with these two quotes from Ace of Cakes, which we are watching right now.

"Have you never seen Steel Magnolias? It’s kind of a chick flick. Kind of? It’s like the chick flick. It’s the number one most chicky flick that ever did chick."

and completely unrelated...

"If I was in a really bad car accident and an armadillo was waddling to my rescue I think I might be a little worried. But once I saw that he had all his supplies I’d be cool with it."

It is nice to end the day with a laugh.

a gift you can open again and again

I consider myself a good reader—I read quickly, I enjoy reading, and I read a wide variety of books. This list though, of books I can read again and again, kind of stumped me because I read very few books more than once. Very few. I, uh, actually couldn’t think of a single “adult” book (not a picture book, or a young adult book) that I had read at least twice. None have come to mind. Is that strange? I also own very few books because I can get anything I want from my library, so the chance of just picking something up that I’ve read already is pretty slim because the books aren’t just easily accessible on a shelf. The books I do own are packed up in boxes because we’ve unpacked very few of our possessions since moving to Kansas, so I couldn’t even look over my bookshelves to remind myself of the books I love. I’m sure there are a few, I just can’t think of them. So here is a list of books that I know I’ve read more than once, and then a few that I would happily read again.

Five books I can (and do) read again and again (get ready—they are all children’s books)

1. Fanny’s Dream, by Caralyn Buehner

It’s not just the illustrations in the book that are magic, it’s the entire story of a sturdy girl who seems so unlikely to marry a price that wraps me up in happy memories. I was introduced to this book by Ann The Perfect many years ago and have since gifted it to several other friends. “Even with all that moonlight is still took Fanny an hour to give up her dreams.” I can’t even tell you how many times I have read and loved this little book.

2. Thunderhoof, by Syd Hoff
This was the first book I could ever read. I’m going to use the term “read” pretty loosely here, because it was more a recitation of what I knew the words were than actual reading. It’s the charming little story of a wild horse who doesn’t want to be tamed. I have no idea why this, of all the books in my house, was my young-girl favorite, but my mom says that I would read it over and over and over and she could rarely get me to choose anything else. I now own a copy and will, of course, read it to my children.

3. The Little Prince, by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
This book was also a gift from a college roommate. Somehow this book, that at the time was a symbol of passive-aggressiveness and anger, has become one that I love. I do think of that horrible time in my life every time I read it, but slowly those memories fade away and I am left charmed by a little boy who tames a fox and protects a rose.

4. My Many Colored Days, by Dr. Seuss
I read this book a lot while in college and would definitely consider it my “downer” book—I would read it when I was depressed because I felt like the purple day perfectly expressed my mood. “On purple days I’m sad. I groan. I drag my tail. I walk alone.” Ahhhh, twenty-something angst. Most of the book is actually quite upbeat, and it has wonderful illustrations.

5. Holes, by Louis Sachar
I was given this book as a gift and quickly fell in love. I love how the different stories wrap around each other before finally coming together in a perfect ending. The movie was great, but the book was much, much better. This is the only long book that I have ever read aloud on a road trip: It took eight hours and my throat was dry and sore long before the end, but nobody wanted the story to end.

6. Walk Two Moons, by Sharon Creech
Simply, I love this book. When it was my turn to choose my book club book, this is the book I chose. It is at the same time heart-warming, humorous, and heart-wrenching. I love the way the story is told, as a narrative on a road trip, and also of the road trip itself. I love that it is written for children but that it has layers of meaning that impact adults. I love the references to the grandparent’s marriage bed. I love the lunatics that the girls see. It is a mystery and a comedy and a moral tale. If you have not read this book yet, you should. Right now.

These are books that I WOULD read again.
7. Thirteenth Tale, by Diane Setterfield
8. My Sister’s Keeper, by Jodi Picoult
9. Harry Potter (the whole series), by J.K Rowling
10. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (the whole series), by C.S. Lewis
11. The Lord of the Rings (the whole series), by J.R.R. Tolkien

i bake, therefore i am

The lovely Housewife came up with a good way to post every day in May (a goal that we share) and so I offered to help her come up with list ideas if she let me copy her. She graciously obliged. So, just in case I don’t get around to blogging about actual events (you know, fascinating things like our garden, the bird nest in our front door wreath, my brother coming to visit, a great Saturday, and the current status of my chin boil) you’ll know I’m alive and thinking.

Ten foods that I love to cook

I tried to explain why I like to cook each of these (as opposed to just eat them) and I hope I have made the distinction clear. I’ll sum it up for you, though: I like to cook things that are fast and easy. And sweet. Strange, I know.

1. Cookies. All kinds, really, but my personal favorites are pumpkin chocolate chip, snickerdoodle, and gingerspice. I'm not sure what it is about cookies that I love so much, but I think it might be the combination of bit-size, condensed flavor, and the fact that they are hard to mess up. I like to cook them because once I have the base down I can really make them to suit my taste with mix-ins. I also like getting my hands in the dough. Oh! And I especially like putting them on the cookie sheet in perfectly even balls so that they make cookies that are all perfectly shaped. Call me anal, but I love it.

2. BBQ ribs. I didn't discover that I loved cooking these until recently. Like, when I moved to Kansas City and tried to make them. Zoo Peters tried my recipe recently and had, well, the same humorous results that I did the first time I tried it. Regardless of the fun of the first-time experience, this recipe always turns out well, and although it takes a long while to cook it involves very minimal work. I like feeling like I am a real chef who can produce mouth-watering food, and, seriously, this recipe is that good.

3. Tapioca pudding. This is definitely turning in to a list of the foods I like to eat, but, hey, isn't the joy eating something the main reason we love to cook anything? Anyway, I have loved tapioca pudding since birth, I think. It's possible since before. No one else in my family particularly enjoys it, which makes it really nice because then when I make it I get to eat the whole batch. I used to only make the stove-top recipe, but then I went to college and got all lazy and learned to love the microwave version, which condenses a 45-minute recipe into, like, 10 minutes. Sweet.

4. Rice. I know this is kind of a weird one, but I really like cooking rice. I'm pretty sure that I didn't learn how to cook rice until, well, I think I had already graduated from college. (That probably says something about how frequently I ate rice during college.) But then I was introduced to a fabulous recipe called "Rice Underneath" and my love of all things rice began. Marriage to a handsome Asian didn't do anything to quell my love of cooking rice. And then. Then! I was introduced to a rice cooker. Heavens, how easy it is to cook rice now. Although it kind of takes a little of the fun/guesswork out of things, and perhaps one of the reasons I like cooking rice is believing that I am an above-average rice cooker.

5. Meatloaf. Again, I believe my recipe is better than most. I love meatloaf. Obviously, you can't eat it every day (wait, can you?) but every once in a while nothing sounds more appealing than a chunk of seasoned, cooked beef on my plate. Also, this is another food that is extremely easy to put together. Has anyone ever tried meatloaf sandwiches? With the right kind of bread (a thick, kind of touch roll is great) this is a phenomenal sandwich. I know that Housewife is throwing up a little in her mouth at the thought of putting her hands in raw ground beef and shaping it into a loaf, but I don’t mind getting a little dirty.

6. Eggs. Soft-boiled. Over-easy. Scrambled. You name it, I enjoy cooking an egg that way. I love eggs, and I love that they are so versatile. Is there another food that can take so many forms and be included in so many recipes? Just last month Somebody made the most excellent chicken salad sandwich, and when I asked what his secret ingredient was, he said that he had mixed in some scrambled egg. Well, there you have it.

7. Scones. Not too long ago, when someone asked me what I thought of when I heard the word “scone,” I responded that I thought of the fried bread ala Utah’s Sconecutters. Not any more. Now I think of the dense biscuit ala England. And Kathleen’s fantastic recipe. You should try them. I always use chopped up dried apricots, dried cherries, and chocolate chips as my fillings. And I put in way more fillings than the recipe calls for. I like to eat these, sure, but I like to bake them because my mom loves them and I love how excited she gets when she sees me making them.

8. Grilled Veggies. I’m not sure these should really count, but just because it’s cooked on the grill shouldn’t disqualify it. I discovered my love for grilled vegetables last summer when we cooked dinner on the grill at least once a week. Veggies (cut up zucchini, asparagus, corn on the cob, sweet potato, tomato) all taste divine with just a little olive oil and salt and pepper, But, if you need more spice, I recommend this spice blend:

1 Tbsp Parmesan cheese

1/2 tsp salt

1/8 tsp oregano

1/8 tsp onion salt

1/8 tsp pepper

1/8 tsp chili powder

I love to cook veggies on the grill because it reminds me of summer, friends, gardens, and it makes me feel healthier than cookies do.

9. Toast. Cooked bread. This is the epitome of fast, easy cooking. I think I have a piece of toast just about every day. When I’m sick I have multiple pieces of toast. Just tonight I had a piece of toast when I needed an evening snack. I love it because it is basically an empty palette for whatever flavor I want to put on it and it allows me to satisfy a variety of cravings.

10. Breakfast. I do realize that this is a category and not a food, and that I’ve already listed eggs and toast. But I love cooking breakfast because no matter what time of day I’m making it, it feels like a luxurious, lazy Saturday. Cooking breakfast smells good, and there are so many options that I can be creative (like with the pancake mix-ins, or the waffle toppings, or the omelet fillings) and still know I’ll like the end result.
One of my favorites--Gingerbread Pancakes
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 egg
1 1/4 cups buttermilk
1/4 cup molasses
3 Tbsp vegetable oil
Mix dry ingredients in bowl. Mix wet ingredients in blender. Add wet to dry, mix, and cook on hot griddle, turning once. Eat. Die and go to heaven.

today has been a good day

Eight reasons I like blogging

1. It gives me an outlet to express my opinions.
2. I like feedback.
3. I like to think that it is a good record of my life, and somehow so much easier to keep than a journal.
4. It makes me feel like I belong to a community, even though that community is other women that I don’t always know in real life but that I relate to because they are all experiencing life the same way I am.
5. It is one more place to tell stories that make me laugh.
6. It is one more place to tell stories that I want to always remember.
7. Friends and family that live far away can read what is going on in my life. (I assume, of course, that they are fascinated by my every move.)
8. Sometimes I can say online what I can’t say in real life.

don't hate me because i watch a lot of tv

20 Shows I have been (or am) OBSESSED with
1. House
2. The Amazing Race
3. Jon and Kate Plus 8
4. Grey’s Anatomy
5. Roswell
6. Ugly Betty
7. Friends
8. The Office
9. One Tree Hill
10. Gilmore Girls
11. Flip that House
12. What Not to Wear
13. Seinfeld
14. So You Think You Can Dance
15. Beverly Hills 90210

Shows that I never saw in primetime, but loved in reruns and on dvd:
16. Dawson’s Creek
17. Veronica Mars
18. Charmed (I swore I would never watch this, but then I got married.)
19. Law & Order
20. Matlock (I know, right? What? I was unemployed and it was on tv like, three times a day.)

keeping up with the joneses. literally.

Ten Things I Wish I Could Do

1. Run three miles. Okay, one mile.
2. Kneel down for extended periods of time.
3. Sit on the floor.
4. Sleep through the night.
5. Reupholster a chair or couch.
6. Cultivate a thriving garden.
7. Put together a fantastic outfit.
8. Play the piano.
9. Develop my own delicious recipes.
10. Walk really naturally in high heels.

the answers to all my questions

So, you give up yet? I thought so.

Hotel rooms:
Left to right--Hyatt, Hilton, Holiday Inn
Most comfortable--Holiday Inn, then Hyatt. Not comfortable at all? Hilton

Movie quotes:
You can see all the answers filled in below. The ones in green were guessed correctly. The ones in red were not guessed at all. Either I like lame-o movies or you guys need to get out and see some of these because they are awesome. It could really go either way.

Questions you were too shy to ask:
Yes, I wear sunglasses all day at work to do what I can do prevent the migraines from coming.
No, I'm not pregnant.
Yes, the doctor did tell me that the best solution for my twice-weekly migraines was to get pregnant right away.
No, I didn't hit her and request an easier-to-control option.

Yes, I know how to eat with chopsticks.

Yes, I have worn my hair in either pigtails or a ponytail every day this week.
No, I don't feel bad about it.
Yes, I did consider that if I left my hair down that it might take some of the focus away from my boil.
Shut up.

No, we didn't die in the big thunderstorms that rolled through the Kansas City area last night.
Yes, my car did sustain some hail damage.

Yes, I did get my wedding ring back from being cleaned and spruced up today.
Yes, the employee did call it "interesting" although she clarified that it was in a good way.
Yes, I do agree that it is the best piece of jewelry that I own and that by choosing it I was admitting that Somebody has better taste than I do and that he should pick out all my jewelry.
No, I don't mind that at all.

Yes, I did get another migraine while typing this, which is the second one today.
Yes, you should feel just a little bit bad for me.
No, I don't need anything, but thank you. Oh, wait, if you know of any non-medical/home-remedy/voodoo/herb remedies that I should try, please pass them along.

when it rains…

When I was in P-town last week (two weeks ago? Crazy. And, by the way, that was a great and much needed vacation) I made a little visit to la Salon Chloe. It’s this great place that gives you the greatest eyebrows ever. Anyway, I had the highly skilled esthetician do a little work cleaning out my pores, especially that one on my chin that had been giving me trouble for about two weeks (maybe longer.) And for a day things were fine. And then the blemish started getting a little red. And then it started growing into more of a, well, boil. And then I woke up one day with the most embarrassing pus hill on my chin. I tried to hide it with makeup and pretend that nothing was wrong, but soon the nodes under my chin started swelling and grew very tender to the touch. (Do you kind of wish you could have been here to see it? Seriously. It was the kind of thing where people found it so gross that they can’t stop looking. Welcome to my world.) The moral of the story? I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a nasty combination of a staph infection and a strep infection. From my blemish. Doesn’t that take a certain skill? I don’t know about you, but that was one winning combo I was hoping to avoid. After three days of antibiotics things are starting to calm down. Oh, no, the blemish hasn’t decreased. Don’t worry. But the swelling under the chin has gone down. And there is this fairly attractive scab forming on my chin.

I am, like, 15 years old. Hear me roar.

man, i crack myself up

This went around a little while ago, but because I am alternately too lazy and too busy to get to things when they are still all-the-rage, I’m throwing my selections in a little late. Oh well.

These are quotes from some of my favorite movies. I actually had kind of a hard time remembering movies that I consider favorites and had to resort to going to the one box of dvds we have unpacked (I set them aside when we moved specifically because I thought I liked them enough to want to have access to them before the rest of the boxes were unpacked.) Anyway, there are two moves that I love so much that I had to include two quotes. And I am going to warn you that I like some old, obscure Disney movies.

The Rules:
Leave guesses in the comments.
No Googling or using IMDB search functions.
Don’t cheat, suckas!
Limit your guesses to three movies.

1. She's an owl, sickened by a few days of *my* sunshine. *My Fair Lady*

2. I'm a woman! We don't say what we WANT! But we reserve the right to get pissed off if we don't get it. That's what makes us so fascinating! And not a little bit scary. *Sliding Doors*

3. Fester, fester, fester. Rot, rot, rot. *French Kiss*

4. I brought you flours. *Stranger Than Fiction*

5. To have your alligators thaw out and your daughter forgive you all in the same bright morning, that's fortuosity. *The Happiest Millionaire*

6. Yes is being my answer. Easy question. *Love Actually*

7. Then it is a good dream. *The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers*

8. And, let me guess, you have a great personality. *The Emperor's New Groove*

9. Well, aren't you just a big fat liar. *Sweet Home Alabama*

10. I'd be surprisingly good for you. *Evita*

11. Why would a shark swallow a bottle? *In Search of the Castaway*

12. Help me find the owner of this rather remarkable shoe. *Ever After*

13. On a scale of one to ten, what would you consider the likelihood you might be assassinated? *Stranger Than Fiction*

14. A happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story. *The Last Unicorn*

15. I could never love a Baywatch fan. *Sliding Doors*

16. Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know? *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*


And just in case they haven’t done it, I hope that Housewife, Michelle, Megan, and Zoo Peters participate next.
Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
Post them on your blog for everyone to guess.
Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed.

a little hotel quiz

The first two weeks of the month I spent time at two hotels in Houston and one in Calgary: the Hilton, the Holiday Inn, and the Hyatt. Can you tell which bed belongs to which hotel?
And can the pictures tell you which was the most comfortable?

abc my friday

Like many things, I am not the first. Who beat me? Janssen and Housewife, of course.

Admiring: New cars and the lucky people who own and drive them. (New being relative—anything less than six years old.)

Beating myself up about: Eating food that I know I shouldn’t eat.

Crying over: Spilt milk.

Daydreaming about: Someday being one of the pregnant women that people think are so cute.

Excited because: It’s Friday and we are hanging with Zoo Peters tonight. And she is cooking. You have no idea how jealous you should be.

Frustrated because: My to-do list never seems to shrink.

Grateful for: blinds that Justin put up over my office window (also I’m grateful that my desk is one of the few in the office that looks out a window) to block out the sun and the sunny reflection on the cars in the parking lot. The constant glare was giving me headaches and the blinds have made a huge difference in my ability to stay at work. Although sometimes I still have to wear my sunglasses in the office. I’m grateful for sunglasses.

Hate-filled and seething over: critical emails that get forwarded to lists of people who were not involved in any part of the original discussion, and that are critical about things that are not even accurate, and that will lead to wasted time and incorrect assumptions.

Indignant because: I’m rarely wrong (at work) (What? I'm not! I'm freakishly smart.) and I don’t like being accused of incompetence.

Just shoot me now because: Once again it looks like we’ll get freezing temperatures this weekend and I just don’t know how much more my little garden can take.

Kidding myself regarding: How cute the little pigtails really are.

Listening to: “Whole Wide World” by Eric Goulden

Mooning over: Shirts that are (a) long enough that I don’t need a tank top, (b) short sleeve so that I can wear them in the summer, (c) dressy enough that I can wear them to work, (d) casual enough that I can wear them on the weekend, and (e) somewhat attractive. Suggestions?

Need: A realistic exercise plan.

Obsessing over: The one toenail that looks sad and stumpy and like it doesn’t want to join the “pretty toenail party.”

Praying: That the plan will go, you know, according to plan.

Questioning: How long this nasty blemish with stay on my chin. Any bets? We’re up to three weeks and counting.

Reading: 1776, and while it’s interesting and I’m impressed with the drive and courage of those men, I’m not loving it like I want to.

Singing: The song I’m listening to. Also, I have been singing “She,” from the movie Notting Hill, (which we watched last night) in my head during the breaks when no music is playing.

Trying: to motivate myself to do some actual work. This leads directly to my frustration that my to-do list never gets any shorter.

Unnerved by: How much smoother our drive is with new tires. Should I have been more worried about our safety with the shaky-shakes the past three months?

Voicing: My opinion that being constantly monitored makes me uneasy and a less-productive employee.

Wondering: If I will ever be able to open the blinds all the way again.

X-ray: My foot. Are the bones really collapsing? Is that really something that happens?

Yawning over: pictures of other people’s pets. Seriously. I agree that your kids are cute and I like to see how they are growing up, but, um, your puppy? Not so much. Even when you pose it in the spring tulips.

Zoinks: Only two more hours of work time?!? I definitely need to get some things done here.

the best is yet to be

america's attic

I had not been to Canada before in my adult life, so I was thrilled that my work took me to Calgary so that I could see what all the fuss was about. My opinion of the city might have been swayed by the fact that I was about to rendezvous with Carol, but I'll try to keep her out of things. (Like that is even possible. I enjoy traveling so much more when I can meet up with friends who live there and can take me out of the hotel. My personal tour of the city amazing and I hope I enjoy Calgary even half as much as I did with Carol.)

Carol took me to do what any good American does in Canada--buy chocolate (shhhh, don't tell Somebody.) The store was a lot like Walmart, only not, and with these awesome shoes. My big regret was that they didn't have any of the green ones in my size. Dang.
Oh! How could I forget? Before the big store we stopped for the best french fries ever. EVER. I can't believe I didn't take a picture because, honestly, I could have eaten them all night. And after the store we went for dinner, and then, get ready for it, we got the best hot chocolate ever. Ever! Can you even imagine it? The best french fries and the best hot chocolate in the same city? I know. Crazy.
Seriously. Best. Hot chocolate. Ever. Ever. We had to cool it down a little by holding it outside the car, but once it reached drinkable temperature I was in heaven. Or Canada.

And Canada has these:Maybe they have them in other big cities--the footprints so that you have somewhere to step so that your heel doesn't go through the grate. Awesome. Other things I loved about Calgary:

• Every flight I took had empty seats, left on time, and arrived at my destination a little early. I could not have been more pleased.
• Did you know that you have to pay for plastic bags at the grocery store? I think it is a great way to encourage bringing re-usable, canvas bags.
• Everyone I met was so polite--the taxi drivers, hotel staff, people in restaurants and walking around.
• As I was walking around the downtown area by myself in the morning, I passed a city worker cleaning some outdoor benches. There weren't other people on the street and so I could hear him very clearly singing in Italian. It was almost like a whole other world there listening to him sing.
• The weather was perfectly cold. I prefer weather to be a little on the chilly side and was comfortably cool the whole time.

The one thing I didn't like about going into Canada was going through customs. I knew that I wasn't doing anything wrong, but the inquisition was a little too thorough and the customs official actually said, "You know, we can't let just anyone in to Canada." Well, thanks for that. Also, my laptop is heavy. It was never meant to be carried around the Denver airport or anywhere else.

all tied up in knots

Remember how I like mangos? Well, I do. Lots. And lots. Today the dessert with lunch was a little things called Mango Explosion. I kid you not. Mango that collided with cake and the result was a freakish amount of yummy. Texas, I just might come back. But hopefully not to Houston, because people, I have been warned.

things that must go

A radio station in the state I used to live in had a segment called “things that must go.” I will copy them here, because, seriously, there are a lot of things that bug the crap out of me and Must. Go.

1. Music on blogs. A few days ago, the wise and lovely Janssen posted about how she hates blogs that have a reduced view in Reader that required her to click through to their web site to read each post. I could not agree with her more. There are some blogs that I am willing to click through to (because I know the writing or pictures will be worth it) but in general I just skip over such posts. And then I delete them from my list of blogs to read. You know what is just lovely about Reader, beside the easy access to hundreds of blog feeds? The fact that you don’t have to risk having annoying music start playing when you open some blogs. People, why do you do that to me? If you want to hear music then just play it on your own computer? Why do you want to share it with me? Oh, because you know I like shared music? Well, not of that variety. I know I can scroll down and turn the music player off, but mostly what I do instead is close the page. And then shake my fist at the heavens, roll my eyes, and move on to blogs that don’t assault my ears.

2. Really low toilet paper dispensers in public bathrooms. Is this some sort of ADA thing? Because I can’t imagine what kind of disability would allow someone to sit on a normal height toilet and then only be able to access toilet paper that comes out of a dispenser that is secured to the wall in such a way that it is lower than my knees and I must reach down to get the paper. What the? Is there a legitimate purpose for this? What would the harm be in positioning that dispenser a little higher? It bugs me.

3. The “the antioxidants will protect me” grape juice commercial. I don’t even know what brand made this commercial, but whenever it comes on I find myself cringing and changing the channel. Seriously? The antioxidants will protect you? It’s the kind of thing that would be cute if your own child said it, but that seems so contrived and annoying when the child actor does it. It has ruined grape juice for me. Just kidding. I’m not sure there is anything that could truly ruin grape juice for me, but this commercial comes really close. Stop. Please stop.

4. Bad honeydew on fruit bars. People, do you put the honeydew (aka musk melon) there as a space-taker-upper? Oh, you do? Well, knock it off. I like honeydew. A lot. But I don’t like the rock-hard junk that is put out on so many fruit platters. Can you not tell the difference between ripe and yucky? Maybe not. Brush up on that skill, kids, because a ripe honeydew is like a little slice of heaven. In related news, the fruit platter this morning had sliced mango. Mango! How did they know it was my favorite? Mango is another things I just can’t get enough of. Somebody thinks that some time in Taiwan eating it at every meal will cure me of my love, but I doubt it.

5. Disregard for the illness/problems/property of others. What’s up with that? Why must every story of mine be topped by a story that involves you? I’m talking here, people. Focus. And why can’t I just be sick? Why do you have to be more sick? Or handling your sickness better? And why can’t you act like the things of others are important and have value, too? True, they might not be as expensive or fancy as yours, but that doesn’t mean that they have any less importance to the owner. Case in point: today at the board meeting one of the attendees started doodling on the linen tablecloth. In pen. Even though a pad of paper was less than six inches away. A grown women drew on the tablecloth. Why? The only reason I can come up with is that she simply doesn’t take notice of things that are not hers. And that thinking must go.

I’m sure I’ll have more later, which shouldn’t surprise those of you who know me and how I like to talk about the things that bother me.

true confessions

1. I can just not get enough of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I’m in love with the show and am thrilled that they have been having a marathon, um, for the last week or so. Love it. I can’t get enough of the way Kate is completely anal and bossy (also known as: just like me) and Jon is patient and kind and a calm parent (also known as: just like Somebody.) It cracks me up.

2. This morning I got on a plane and spent a good part of my day getting to Texas. Don’t take this personally, but I never wanted to come to Texas. And not even that I didn’t want to come for this particular work meeting, but I never wanted to come to Texas at all. And I hate to say it, but it so far it has lived up to my expectations. I hope that something happens to make me want to return, because so far all I’ve experienced is the lamest mall EVER, (worse even than the old Ogden mall, and that is saying something) and the homeless, and slight fear about my hotel location, and elephants in the hallway. Way to go, Texas.

3. When I’m away from home, I miss my husband with a surprising intensity. Last night I asked him if he wanted to hug me a little bit longer because I was going away and he was going to miss me, and he was all, “Eh. I don’t miss you that much.” What the? I thought everyone was a little bit sadder when they were away from me. No? Anyway, I find that, especially in the evenings, I just feel better about everything when he is there. Which I find surprising because a) I LOVE me some alone time, b) I consider myself an independent and capable person who can function all alone in a new city, and c) at home I sleep better when Somebody is not in the bed, which should and will be a confession of its own. (And it is!) But I miss him. I hate that if I wanted a hug and a kiss that it would basically be, “No hug for you!” When we were on the phone earlier, after a few minutes, he said, “well, I don’t have anything to tell you. Do you have anything to talk about? No? Okay, well, I’m going to go then.” Sometimes it is hard to believe we spent hours on the phone talking when we were first dating. Of course, back then he needed some time to explain how he wanted to date me because he liked me and not because he wanted a green card.

4. I sleep better when Somebody is not in the bed. I’m not the best sleeper in general, but, sadly, my sleep is even less rejuvenating and deep when I have to share the bed. You would think that after two years of marriage I would have gotten over the adjustment but somehow I just haven’t. We usually end up with one of us on the couch, or him staying in the living room until I’ve fallen asleep, or me moving to the other room in the middle of the night, or me just not getting a very good sleep. And somehow that makes me feel like I’m not a very good wife—because I don’t want him all over me when I’m sleeping. And yet. AND YET. Here at the hotel I wish for nothing more than for him to be here. You know, to keep me awake as if we were at home.

5. I hate talking to the strangers sitting next to me on any public transportation. Or public place. Or anywhere, actually. I hate small talk. But today a woman boarded the plane after me and was carrying a magazine that clearly indicated that she was a member of the same church I am. And sat right next to me. And yet I could never think of anything to say to let her know that we had something in common, and even when I wanted to comment on the talk from the magazine that she was reading I didn’t because I didn’t want to end up having to talk for the whole rest of the flight. I’m lame like that. In the end I did strike up a conversation, but I calculated it to begin approximately five minutes before we landed. Oh yeah. I’m all about spreading the good word. Please. I can’t even share what I know with people who would undoubtedly welcome the conversation.

6. I’m a bad suitcase packer. I tend to over-pack on certain things and under-pack on others. You would think that by now I would have the work meeting list of items down pat, and yet here I am again with only one casual shirt. That I will end up wearing every night I’m here. And then on the plane home. I’m going to smell pretty. Don’t worry—I’ll use it as one more reason to not talk to the people sitting near me on the flight home.

friday finds: yellow edition

This week I had a hard time coming up with some good finds. At first I wanted to find items with daffodils, because they seem to be the only flower blooming these days, but daffodil items that I like are few and far between. So then I tried April Fool's items, and, well, several of those were not for young readers (apparently etsy doesn't have policy prohibiting homemade items of objectionable taste, and I have to wonder who is spending time making or buying those items, but to each his/her own). Anyway, I finally settled on yellow items because yellow makes me happy and encourages me that spring and sunshine will be here soon.

1. How could you not dress your child in that and then smile every time you saw them? You can. The End. Lemon Dress: Blossom and Sunny.

2. I have a love/hate relationships with wreaths. I had the dried flowers, wispy sprigs, and Homemaking-ness of many of them. But every so often I come across one that I love and that I could definitely see myself actually hanging on my front door. My hypothetical front door. LES CITRONS Gorgeous Tropical Orchid Wreath: Fantasy of Flowers.

3. I used to have an obsession with candles. And I can't think of a birthday/holiday when I didn't receive at least one candle as a gift. But these, well, these are practically mood lighting. I hope that sentence didn't make you vomit a little. Celestial Votive Holders: Moonlightbaker.

4. This was the very first yellow item I loved and the one that spurred the whole yellow list. I love it. Love. It. It is so cheery and bright and quite possibly a one-size-fits-all. Sign me up. Yellow Explosion Bracelet: Pepper Design.

5. No privileged little girl my age grew up without Strawberry Shortcake. I loved those dolls, but mostly because they just smelled so good. This is Lemon Meringue and her pet frog, Frappe. Do you remember them? Has your life seemed incomplete without them? Because the notes say she still smells sweet. Lemon meringue with frappe: Trunk of Prettys.

6. When Somebody and I talk about life options that don't involve me going to work, we often talk about the things I will be doing instead. "Sewing aprons" and selling them and making millions is usually way up there on the list*. Right under "open cupcake shop with friends." Why? I don't know. I live on the edge like that. In any case, I'm always on the lookout for cool apron patterns, and this one was appealing. It is reversible with yellow on the back. Bumblee Heaven Apron: Burst of Happiness.

*I have never sewed an apron before.

Update: Okay, seriously? I've tried to edit the spacing on this, like, 11 times, and it keeps reformatting to having no spaces and a weird size of font. What's going on? My last post was like this, too? I would hate to think that I'm a bad blogger, and so I want to blame Blogger, but has anyone else had this problem? And how did you fix it?

when planted it will grow

Remember two months ago when I stubbed my toe and was all, ouch, feel sorry for me? I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to take another picture to show you just how black and gross it still was. Pull out a little of that initial sympathy for me because today when I visited the podiatrist he decided that the nail was dead and that he should probably pull it off. Oh yeah. Nothing warms my heart like words that let me know that someone is going to cause pain to my feet. So here I sit with nine (and a nub) toenails. It’s a hot look.

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My mom and I stopped by a Whole Foods Market this afternoon for a look around, some flax seed, and dinner. We have been in the store before and were nothing short of impressed by the sight and smells in their deli section. Have you been there? It’s like a million things that look yummy and yet are also organic and probably very healthy. We decided on some grilled vegetable pizza and I have never felt so healthy after a pizza dinner. Here’s the thing, though. I’m not sure how much I buy into the whole organic, natural, free-range, additive free food stuff. I mean, in theory I think it sounds like a good way to live. Natural. Fresh. But is organic cilantro worth paying four times as much for a bundle? What does the organic-ness do for me? Do the health benefits warrant the money? I often fall back on that old, “well, I wasn’t raised on that, and neither were my parents, or their parents, and we all turned out just fine,” thing. And I know that more and more chemicals and artificial flavor/color/texture are added to food than thirty years ago. The other part of this dilemma is that part of me wants to be that kind of person. I want to make healthy choices and put only good food in my body. And yet, I just can’t make myself pay that extra money. I’m a Whole Foods critic/wanna-be. It’s an interesting mix.

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We’ve started our square foot gardens (spurred primarily by Ann’s garden of amazingness) and are eager for spring weather to really arrive so we can put all the more sensitive vegetables out. Pictures and more information will follow. Somebody is a master gardener. Seeds that he plants sprout up in no-time under his tender care. He speaks sweet-nothings to the tiny buds, scoops in the perfect amount of water, takes care to give them the right amount of sunlight, and in all ways makes their survival a priority. I think he must check on their progress at least a dozen times each day. Master. Gardener. How lucky am I that he approaches his relationship with me in much the same kind, attentive, selfless way? Oh, yeah. Me and the plants are thriving under his care.