lucky day

If I had to plan a perfect vacation day in Taiwan, I could not have done a better job than the day we had today. This was the only day in Tainan that we spent just the four of us(meaning we could speak English all the time), touring around on scooter. Oh, the scooters. Loved them. My mom was hesitant about my dad’s ability to safely navigate through the traffic of Tainan, so she road with Somebody and I put my life in my dad’s hands. The beauty of taking the scooters is that you don’t have to find a parking space, and, believe me, you don’t want to have to find a parking space in Taiwan. You can drive your scooter pretty much right up to the door of any building, hang your helmet on the handlebars, and walk away. The other great thing was the breeze when riding the scooters.

We visited Chihkan Towers and Taiwan’s oldest Confucian temple before lunch. And lunch was the highlight of the day.

Across the street from the Confucius Temple was an alley-way with a street market where we shopped for a little and purchased our lunch. I can’t remember what we ate for the main course, but for dessert I was introduced to shaved ice. How I lived happily before that time is a mystery. So delicious. We had found a little table on one side of the alley and the store/stand with the shaved ice was on the other side. While Somebody was standing in line placing our order a little parade came down the street. Leading the parade was a wise man and two dragons. The wise man was handing out red “good luck” envelopes. He spotted us and made a beeline for our table.

The entire parade came to a halt while he handed us our envelopes and posed for pictures. It started out with just my dad taking pictures, but it only took a moment before dozens of strangers were also taking pictures of us. A small crowd formed around us and just over their heads I could see Somebody watching us and shaking his head with embarrassment/amusement. He just can’t take us anywhere.

Things I want to always remember:
* How easy it was to smile all day.
* The feel of the breeze on the scooters.
* How perfect the weather was.
* Finding everything more beautiful because of how happy we were.
* Shaved ice. Why don’t we have that here?
* The gardens at the Koxinga Shrine.

Things I will never forget:
* How McDonald’s hamburgers in Tainan don’t taste like the McDonald’s hamburgers I know.
* The traffic.

pain train

Alishan was the place I was most excited to see in Taiwan, and really pushed the whole family to visit with us. I had seen so many pictures on the internet and in guide books and was really looking forward to the cherry blossoms, trees, train ride, and hiking trails. Wow. Too bad I wasn’t looking forward to crowds, back pain, and a day spent mostly in the car, because that is what we actually got.

We met up with Somebody’s family early in the morning and took two cars so that we could all fit. We drove for hours up winding roads, through tea plantations, fog, and beautiful scenery.

Near the top of the mountain we parked the cars and got on a tourist bus that took us to the train station. Have I mentioned the squatty toilets yet? Because this is the kind of toilet that I learned how to master while in Taiwan and China. The first time I walked into a bathroom stall and saw one of these I turned around and walked right back out. Somebody talked me into giving it a try, probably because he knew that I would have to learn at some point. That first time I took off all my clothes, just to be safe. Also because I had no idea how to use a toilet in the floor with clothes on. By the end of our trip, though, I was a master of the squat toilet. I still had to carry around toilet paper (never provided) but at least I could leave my shoes on. And thank goodness, because the floors were always nasty dirty.

So, we took the bus to the train station and bought tickets just barely in time to catch the last train to the top (where Alishan park was located.) I, mistakenly, was under the impression that when you pay for a ticket on a train that you were paying for a seat. Nope. We were paying for the privilege to ride the train, and we stood for that hour and a half ride up to the top of the mountain.

Lest you start to think I complain over trivial things (stop looking at me like that) this was no smooth ride. We were crammed in, the train rocked and shook, and during one particularly powerful lurch I was thrown forward and slammed my knee into an armrest. Nice bruise. This ride was the event that turned the tide of my health and enjoyment of the trip. By the time we got to the top, my back was so sore that I could hardly walk. Good thing we only had 25 minutes at the top before we had to catch the last train back. Yeah. Someone should have mentioned that to us. We, honestly, had only 25 minutes off the train before we had to get back on. We saw nothing of the park. We grabbed something to eat and got back in line. Worst. Trip. Ever.

In the little town were the train stops we were able to do a little shopping (more browsing) and hiking. Somebody’s mom found us some ice cream because apparently I made my desire for ice cream pretty well-known. It wasn’t Dreyers, but it was pretty good.

My dad found the hiking trails and was trilled to be able to wander off on his own for a while. We learned to give him a time limit on his wanderings so that he was sure to return. I think it was probably frustrating for him to have us move so slowly behind him. It’s a good thing he had opportunities to explore at his own pace.

Luckily, on the trip down we were able to secure four seats. Unfortunately, there were eight of us. We shared. Sat on laps. Took turns. Somehow we made it back okay.

After we returned to Tainan (it took HOURS because of a huge traffic jam) we went with Somebody’s family to a nice restaurant for dinner. They served a lot of fish, but it was yummy fish.

Things I want to always remember:
* How beautiful it was to drive through the mountains. We passed through four climate zones, and so saw many varieties of trees, including a poinsettia tree.
* The huge ditch on the sides of the road to catch the rain water.
* Looking at Somebody sitting next to his dad and seeing, for the first time, where Somebody got his gorgeous eyes.

Things I will never forget:
* Trying to follow Somebody’s older brother as he drove to Alishan. He is a crazy, fast driver, and we almost lost him several times because he would weave in and out of traffic.
* Realizing that I didn’t have a seat on the train-ride down and being unable to not cry about it.

bring on the sunburn

Our first official day of touring. Tainan is famous for abundant historical buildings (it was the capital of Taiwan from 1661-1887) and delicious snack food. Today we set out to sample some of both.

First stop: Anping Fort, built by the Dutch in the early 17th Century.

Second and much longer stop: the carnival set up around the fort. Matzu temple
Matzu, the Goddess of the Sea, is the most important folk deity in Taiwan. There are temple dedicated to Matzu all over Taiwan, and I think we visited at least six just in Tainan, although I’m sure there were dozens more. The temples are active places of worship, especially during the New Year, and each was crowded with worshippers who had come to pray to Matzu for luck and good fortune.
The Tree House.
This abandoned home was taken over by at least one ambitious banyan tree. There may be two trees there, but it looked to us like it was the work of just one tree. The banyan tree (the “strangler fig”) has a unique appearance because roots come down from the branches and when they reach the soil below they thicken and eventually the root takes on the appearance of another trunk. One tree could have hundreds, thousands, of roots.

Things I want to always remember:
* The colorful kites. * Running out of the temple so that I wouldn't get "souped."
* The way my dad would try any kind of food offered to him.
* How funny it was when my dad dressed in the warrior costume and started posing for our pictures, because, first, he is just funny like that, and second, all the locals around us started taking pictures, too.
* How the Chinese put so many potted plants all around the door of their homes.

* The fresh-pressed tangerine juice. Oh, yum. I could drink this every day for the rest of my life.Things I will never forget:
* The powerful stench of stinky tofu.

chinese new year

The Chinese often have a raised ledge across doorways to keep out the evil spirits (an old tradition, and in all the palaces we saw raised ledges so high you needed steps to get over them). The doorway in our hotel room has a small raised ledge, as well as the door in between the bedroom and bathroom, but that one was a much to keep the water in as it was to keep the evil spirits out. It took several days for me to get into the habit of stepping up higher as I went through doors to avoid stubbing my toe into the ledge. The first day here, though, I had no such habit, and the first thing I did on Sunday morning was stub my toe. Hard. So much pain.

Church was our first activity of the day, and because my skirt was knee length, and because we were riding the scooter, I opted to wear my long-johns under my skirt so that I wouldn’t flash all of Tainan. Don’t worry, though, because that kind of kooky fashion made me fit right in.

After church we quickly changed and then went to his aunt’s for the New Year celebration. We burned incense and said a prayer for his ancestors (at least I think that was what was happening) and then sat around chatting for a while before dinner was served. Well, everyone else was chatting. I was mostly just smiling a nodding like I’d been taught to do.

The Chinese also burn fake paper money as part of the celebration. The money burned goes to their dead ancestors.

After dinner, Somebody’s aunt and mom and cousin’s wife were chatting about my stubbed toe and decided I needed a little Chinese voo-doo to help it heal. Voo-doo hurts. It mostly involves rubbing the injured areas to increase the blood flow to speed healing. And hard rubbing on an injury makes me cry, which I did, right there in the living room with all his relatives sitting around. Good times. The amazing thing is that I think it actually worked, because the swelling went down immediately, and I could walk normally again in only a day or two.

That night we went to the train station to pick up my parents, took them back to the hotel, then over to Somebody’s parents, then we all went home for an early sleep to help us recover from our mild jet lag.

Things I want to always remember:
* How relieved I was to see my parents finally get off the train.
* Watching the correct way to pour tea, and being so fascinated by the hierarchy and rules associated with the tea
* Mahjong—the real way

Things I will never forget:
* Everyone watching me as I tried new foods.
* The powerful smell from the incense and cigarette smoke.

the arrival

I had just about finished my cleaning and packing on Thursday, February 15, when my dad called. He and my mom, who were flying out of Kansas City and meeting me at the Salt Lake City airport, had missed their flight out of Kansas City. I had told them to be at the airport at least two hours early, which, if they had done, would have allowed them to make the flight because the reason why they missed it was because the flight time had been moved an hour earlier.

Carol picked me up and I spent the entire hour-long ride to the airport trying to get in touch with Somebody so that he would know that my parents would be a full day behind me (because there were no more flights out of Kansas City that night so they would have to wait a full day). Somebody lives four hours from the airport, so it wasn’t realistic to have him drive to pick me up, then drive all the way again the next day to get my parents. I was sure there was an easy solution, but the calling card I had wasn’t connecting and I was running out of time. Poor Carol, who had to witness my complete freak-out. She very patiently suggested calling other people with land-lines to see if they would call him directly, and then went out of our way to get me some dinner, because stress on an empty stomach is never a good idea. After calling all my siblings and several friends, I finally got in touch with my brother-in-law in Iowa who called and emailed Somebody, who called me back right away. Thank you, Ezra.

After checking in my luggage, and going through security, I still had three hours waiting in the airport for my flight. Somebody made arrangements for a friend to pick up my parents when they arrived in Taipei, and wished me a good flight, and then I was left on my own. The emotion of running behind in my packing, feeling guilty for making Carol wait for me, not being able to connect with the calling card, not being able to reach any friends or family, and just feeling rushed and overwhelmed caught up with me and those three hours in the airport were lonely and painful.

And then, answering all my tearful prayers, my sister Heidi called. Ezra had told her that I was having a tough night and suggested she call me. We chatted for a while and I was finally able to calm down and relax.

I broke down again in the San Francisco airport while talking to Somebody, but by then I was just tired and lost and completely out of sorts. Luckily I was getting on a plane for a 14 hour flight and couldn’t inflict my hysterics on anyone else.

The long fight was well, and the time passed surprisingly quickly. I read the entire book, The Glass Castle: A Memoir, by Jeannette Walls, and slept quite a bit. (Oh, and the book was absolutely fascinating, and if Janssen hasn’t read it she should add it to her list.) By the time I landed in Taipei I was feeling much better.

I got off the plane, went through immigration for the first time in my adult life, got my first passport stamp!, and then went on to find out that my luggage did not fly to Taiwan with me. Bummer.

Thank goodness that when I finally left the baggage area and went out to where friends and family were waiting, that Somebody was the first person I saw. And what a welcome sight he was.

Things I want to always remember:
* Riding the scooter all over town with Somebody.
* After dinner, our ride down to the light sculpture and harbor.

Things I will never forget:
* Police checking each car as it entered the highway to make sure that there were at least three people in the car. Vehicles with less than three people couldn’t use the highway.
* Meeting Somebody’s parents for the first time and wishing so badly that I spoke better Chinese. Or any Chinese at all.
* After we checked into our hotel, and were walking to our room, Somebody said, “This looks like the kind of place you rent for an hour.”
* The bathroom having no shower curtain.
* Three TV channels being porn. The really bad kind.

leaving on a jet plane

My bags aren't exactly packed, and I'm not altogether ready to go, but I am definitely leaving on a jet plane right about this time tomorrow. I can hardly wait. This past week with Somebody in Taiwan has been rough because I only get to talk to him for small moments in the morning and the evening. We bought a long distance card plan thing so that I could call him, but that has proved to be a waste because "all the circuits are busy" is the message I always get, even when I try over and over again for an hour like I did on Sunday.

The first few days after he left were difficult because I was worried about him traveling, and after he arrived safely home (33 hours after he left) I calmed down a little and stopped crying all the time. Then I went through a period of days where I fell into a routine and wasn't painfully emotional at every mention of him. And then last Sunday night happened, and for some reason I reverted back to painfully emotional. I used to be nervous about going to Taiwan, but now I'm just so eager to be with him that I don't even think about all the things that make me apprehensive.

Tonight, instead of celebrating Valentine’s Day, I’ll be packing and cleaning and counting down the hours until I’m lucky enough to get on a plane and travel for 24 hours. Happy Day-of-Love to me.

you can't handle the tooth

Three weeks ago I went to the dentist for my semi-annual cleaning and check-up. I, unlike most people, love going to the dentist. Especially my dentist because his hygienists are all nice and don't hurt my teeth. Also, he has a television on every ceiling and you put on headphones and what whatever channel you want to. Bliss. Well, this visit didn't go as well as usual. It turns out that the tooth around an old filling had cracked, and there was a little decay underneath the filling. I went back in two days later, Dr. J cleared out the filling, and, unfortunately, found the decay went down right to the top of the nerve. The decision? I needed to come back the next day for a root canal. Super fun for me, right?

Well, I went back in and tried to watch The Sword and the Stone and not pay attention to the fact that Dr. J was drilling the nerve out of my tooth. It was probably a good thing that I had headphones on so that I didn't hear the "oops" when the drill broke off in my tooth. Not to worry, said Dr. J, because that happens all the time. Oh, really? Thankfully, though, I left with no pain and the anesthetic that had numbed my entire face wore off in record time.

Alls well that ends well, I thought to myself. How blessed was I that I had gone through a root canal and even two days later had no pain. Oh, sad, naive little me.

The root canal was on a Monday, and the pain set in on Thursday morning. By Friday afternoon I couldn't even move without pain shooting, um, all through my head. In order to not crumble to the ground in pain I had to sit very, very still. And even then sometimes it shot through me so severely that I thought I would be a happier person if I could just chop that side of my face off. Maybe the problem could be solved by just ripping the tooth out, but because every part of the left side of my face hurt, it should probably all go. And the intense pain in my ear, the pain that was so intense I couldn't even put a phone up to that ear? Yeah, that was a lot of fun. I called Dr. J and he called in a prescription for antibiotics and pain meds. I called Dr. J and he called in a prescription for antibiotics and pain meds.

Flash forward four days, to the following Tuesday. The pain had taken on the unique characteristic of hiding all morning, and then springing forth with a vengeance at 2:30 p.m. Like clockwork. 2:30 p.m. It has been kind of freakish. I went back to see Dr. J and he told me that an infection had developed under the side of the tooth with the blade, but, uh, not to worry. Just to call him if the pain didn't go away in 24 hours. So, the next afternoon I called and said it was still horrible and he sent me to see an actual root canal specialist. What a novel idea to go to a specialist! To the specialist I went, and after many painful tests, all of which included pain, he decided that what I had was an infection. Shut right up. You don't say. He prescribed a more powerful antibiotic, and here I am today, six days away from getting on a plane, flying for 24 hours, and then spending three weeks in Taiwan and China. The pain is still strong enough to immobilize me at moments. It's a shame that I still don't feel any better. Maybe someday.

On a side note, I'm sitting here in my living room hoping that Somebody calls me. I know that I'm supposed to call him, but doing that involves possibly speaking Chinese if one of his parents answers the phone. Yeah. I'm not sure how long I can wait around for him to call, though, because I certainly don't want to go to bed without talking to him. Huh. Dilemmas are the worst.

On a much blonder note, today, for the first time I can remember, I left the hair salon absolutely loving the new, blonder me. I have liked my hair the times I’ve gone darker, but never the times I went blonder. Usually I get all freaked out that it is too blond. Today, though, it is perfect, and I love it.

february 7: the day I became one of those people who kiss, and cry, and kiss, and kiss, and cry, and kiss, and cry, and kiss, and kiss at airports

I dropped Somebody off at the airport last night at about 5:30 p.m. His flight was scheduled to depart at 7:22-ish. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t end up getting on the plane until almost 11 p.m. Luckily (because flight delays are always lucky) his flight out of San Francisco was also delayed three hours. He ended up leaving the country at about 4 a.m., Utah time. His delays will mean that instead of a short 24 hours of travel, he will have spent 28 hours traveling. Poor kid.

I spent last night, for the first time since we’ve been married, alone in the house. Alone in the bed. I’m a little ashamed to say that it was the best sleep I’ve had in months. I’m a very light sleeper (don’t let my loud snoring fool you into thinking I’m in a deep sleep. I didn’t earn the nickname Chainsaw Slaugh for nothing.) and so every time Somebody moves, or touches me, or breathes, I wake up. And while I love the warm body next to me, it was refreshing, literally, to actually sleep undisturbed. Now, don’t go thinking that I’m kicking him out of the bed permanently, or taking seriously his suggestion that we should have twin beds. If I had the choice, I would choose him over a completely restful sleep every day of the week, and twice on Sundays.

not just in pain. alone, and in pain.

Somebody is leaving for Taiwan today. In six hours. And then I won't see him again for ten days. We spent last night at the temple, then filing our taxes, filling out the FAFSA application, and then packing. Well, Somebody packed. I sat on the bed and, apparently, nagged. I was informed that only mothers were supposed to nag, but, um, no, wives can do that, too. And I'm pretty good at it, I think.

learning something every day

Last night I learned a surprising truth about Somebody. It turns out that, had he lived in old Nauvoo, and had he owned a large knife and block of wood, he still could not have been a member of the Whistling and Whittling Brigade, because besides being unable to whittle a mocking bird out of a piece of pine in less than 53 seconds, he also is unable to whistle. I didn’t even know that there were people alive who couldn’t whistle. Huh. Just in case you were wondering, yes, I did try to teach him. But our 4 second lesson was interrupted by my falling off the couch laughing. With him, not at him.

the haircut

Somebody was due for another haircut this week--just in time for his big return to Taiwan.

Before:

After:

the only card that matters

We had Somebody's permanent residency interview in SLC on Friday, Jan 19. Things there only went mostly well. We were told to bring things to prove that we had a valid marriage relationship. Little did we know that what they really wanted was proof that we lived together--a different matter altogether. We had none of the things the interviewer wanted (a lease agreement we both signed, a bank statement showing a joint account, junk mail addressed to both of us). We had brought junk mail addressed to Somebody, and junk mail addressed to me, but we really don't get anything addressed to both of us. We had taken the latest Scoop that was addressed to us both, but the interviewer said, "That is private mail and doesn't count." Did you know that junk mail matters more than private mail? I had no idea.

I had also grabbed the latest statement from USAA showing both of us on the policy. The guy took it and said, "Is this a copy for me?" What? "No, that is the original." Looong sigh from interviewer. "You should have made me a copy." Then he asked if we had any joint credit cards or memberships, like to Costco. Yes, we had both, but Somebody had left his wallet in the car with all his cards, including his driver’s license that showed the same address mine did. Nice, huh? Luckily the guy let Somebody go to the car and get his wallet, then photocopied the cards and the insurance form. And then he approved us.

Seriously, we were worried there for a while. And a little disappointed that all the things we had been told to bring, including a photo album with at least 60 photos of the two of us during the year, with different hair lengths to show the passage of time (not even kidding, those were the directions) the interviewer didn't even look at. Didn't even ask for them. We had a whole satchel full of proof of our relationship that he never asked for. At least we passed, though, right?

And then…
…earlier this week Somebody's Green Card came in the mail! I can't even describe how excited he was. He spent an hour reading me every word on the card and the letter that came with it. And then all evening kept pulling it out and looking at it in awe. How cute. Now he is free to come and go from the country at any time, and, the best part, he is able to work anywhere as if he were a citizen.

The card he has now is valid for two years. At that point we apply for another card that is good for one year. Then we apply for another card that is good for ten years, or he can apply for citizenship. I never realized how seriously the U.S. takes immigration. The interviewer told us that when we apply again that the government will start doing "Bed Checks" where they come unannounced to our home at 2 or 3 in the morning to make sure we are both there. Doesn't that sound like a lot of fun?

honesty is the best policy

Last night as we were getting out of the car:

Somebody: Will you give me your and Paul's student ID's?

Me: Man! You are SO demanding!

Somebody: Excuse me? Hello? Have you even MET you?

because I need to eat more fruit

Somebody and I watch a lot of the Food Network. A lot. More than any other channel except maybe TNT, because they know drama. Well, the Food Network knows food, and we find it fascinating. One of our favorite chef's is Ina, who hosts the Barefoot Contessa. I like watching her show and envying her kitchen, but I had never tried one of her recipes until this past weekend. She made this Lemon Yogurt Cake as part of an Asian themed meal, but we tried the other parts of the meal and didn't like them as much as we liked this cake. We call it Lemon Bread because then we don't feel at all guilty that we've been nibbling away at it all week.

Lemon Yogurt Cake Bread

1 ½ cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup plain whole-milk yogurt (We couldn't find any made from whole milk, so we settled on one made with lowfat milk)
1 1/3 cups sugar, divided
3 extra-large eggs 2
teaspoons grated lemon zest (2 lemons)
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
½ cup vegetable oil
1/3 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice

For the glaze: 1 cup confectioners' sugar 2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour an 8 1/2 by 4 1/4 by 2 1/2-inch loaf pan.

Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt into 1 bowl. In another bowl, whisk together the yogurt, 1 cup sugar, the eggs, lemon zest, and vanilla. Slowly whisk the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients. With a rubber spatula, fold the vegetable oil into the batter, making sure it's all incorporated. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake for about 50 minutes, or until a cake tester placed in the center of the loaf comes out clean.

Meanwhile, cook the 1/3 cup lemon juice and remaining 1/3 cup sugar in a small pan until the sugar dissolves and the mixture is clear. Set aside.

When the cake is done, allow it to cool in the pan for 10 minutes. Carefully place on a baking rack over a sheet pan. While the cake is still warm, pour the lemon-sugar mixture over the cake and allow it to soak in. (We poked lots of holes with toothpicks to help the "bread" soak up the sugar. It's basically sugar bread. Yum.) Allow to cool.

For the glaze, combine the confectioners' sugar and lemon juice and pour over the cake.

We tried the glaze, but we now prefer the cake without it. Also, not using glaze further advances our plan to pretend this is really healthy. At first I thought it actually was, but then I remembered how much oil we used and, well, you just can't get around an entire half cup of oil.

Enjoy!