Tuesday, March 31, 2009

because random is a good as it gets these days

* I want to send baby announcements out because I want them to be put up on refrigerators around the country for strangers to see and comment on the inevitable cuteness of our baby. Somebody says that I can only print out and mail announcements if 20 people promise to put the announcement on their refrigerator, take a picture, and send it back to me as proof. My life is hard. This requirement did not stop me from soliciting my exceptionally talented graphic designer friend (and BFF of Lauren Graham) from working on the design of the announcements. Prepare to be dazzled. Well, you know, prepare to be dazzled if 20 people (that I am not related to) promise to do the picture taking thing.

* The dead bird in my nose has finally gone away. A month later. At one point the strange illness turned into strep throat (I know, right? Like I don't have enough going on.) and the antibiotics that I took seems to have cleared all the animals right out of my nose.

* I had three wonderful baby showers in anticipation of the arrival of the baby shoe, and I loved every minute of each and am so thankful to kind friends and coworkers that want to share this fun time with me. Sadly, although I have some pictures, I am extra lazy these days and not only have I not posted the pictures here, but I also have not sent thank you notes for most of the gifts. I am one of those people that expect (demand!) to receive a thank you note for any gift I give, so I feel especially guilty and pathetic that I am so slow to write them for the things I receive. Much like after our wedding, I keep hoping that if I procrastinate this long enough that Somebody will step in and start writing. (He has assured me that he won’t, but a girl can dream, right?)

* I woke up on Sunday morning with the freakish appearance of a five o'clock shadow on my chin. I did what I could to cover up the odd coloring (do not fear. there were no unruly man-hairs. this was strictly the appearance of dark stubble because of skin discoloration) with makeup and didn't really think anything of it until I was looking in the mirror later that day and realized that my neck was also oddly colored. With patches of red dots. The same red dots that were giving me a skeevy drunk/dark look on my chin. What the? What on earth is that from? And then I realized that my champion pregnancy vomiting from the night before had actually broken the blood vessels in my chin and neck. Many times I've broken the blood vessels around my eyes (and even in my eye), but the chin and neck? That is a first. The ability of my body to completely freak out never ceases to amaze me.

Monday, March 30, 2009

imagining you care

* I heard on an NPR report that thieves are not stealing car stereos anymore (opting instead for GPS units). It reminded me of the one time my car was broken into and the thieves took off with my discman. Obviously my car at the time did not have a cd player and I used the discman in the car with the adapter tape. I spent at least a year purchasing and returning different discmen trying to find one I liked as much as the one that was stolen. Man, I loved that discman.

* We went to our first "you're having a baby! here are your pain management options!" class a couple of weeks ago and of all the women there I had the second soonest due date and the second smallest baby bump. I have to admit that seeing my belly get bigger and bigger just delights me to no end and I'm thrilled to finally be obviously pregnant. Just in time, too, because we are getting to the home stretch here.

* Somebody and I were actually in tears we were laughing so hard reading Miss Nemesis last week. Don't skip the first few comments, because that is where our giggles turned to full-on laughter.

* The tragedy of my head/hair finally cleared up (I know you are just as happy about that as I am), but because pregnancy wanted to make sure I knew who was boss, that unpleasant symptom was replaced with elephant-like swelling in my ankles, calves, wrists, and hands. I have had to completely give up on wearing a watch and rings, and generally by the time I get home from work my ankles are swollen enough that my socks are almost cutting off circulation to my feet. Somebody has, up to this point, been very sympathetic to my obvious pain and spends time almost every night massaging down the swollen parts until they return to normal size. I don't think I even have to say how much I love this. He likes to keep things real by occasionally mentioning just how large my ankles and calves are ("wow. they are big today"). I usually respond by fake crying and moaning about how growing another human being is such hard work.

* After an initial rejection, Somebody received his letter this past week letting him know that he is now considered a Lawful Permanent Resident of the United States. Our application process this time around did not go smoothly (hence the initial rejection) and I have spent many hours over the past two months drowning in worry over the possibility that the government would continue to see our marriage as a sham and deport him. I have been continually surprised at the breadth and depth of proof that we must provide to show that we got married because we fell in love, and have often felt like we were being punished and disbelieved because of choices we made looking for what would be best for our future instead of making them based on what would best show that we share property and finances. We certainly have felt the support and love of many family and friends who we have called upon to write affidavits swearing our marriage was entered into in good faith, that we live together, and that my tattoo that one time was just henna. For now, though, we are just breathing a big sign of relief that this major stumbling block has been overcome.

* I saw a commercial on tv earlier this evening that kind of made me want to vomit. It was for a law firm and their basic message was along the lines of, “is your tax return money not enough to pay off your bills and get out of debt? If not, put that money to good use by filing for bankruptcy. When you file for bankruptcy all your debt goes away—payday loans, credit cards, you name it! Start the year off right. Start the year off debt free by using your tax return money to file for bankruptcy. And we are just the law firm to help you.” Doesn’t that kind of make you sick? That there are people out there who might actually think that this is good advice? And that there are educated professionals encouraging them towards this course of action?

Monday, March 02, 2009

another gem of love

Last night during dinner my dad suddenly stopped the conversation by saying, "hey, what's that sound?" We all became quiet and listened intently. I heard nothing. "It's almost like a bird screeching and maybe dying." Still, nothing. I helpfully pointed to Somebody and said, "It's probably his chewing." You know, because I like to make fun of his chewing. He pointed right back at me and said, "It's probably Jennifer's breathing." My dad looked at me and said, "Stop breathing." I held my breath as long as I could, so, for all of 10 seconds. And then my dad nodded. He had found the source of the dying bird sounds. They were coming from my nose.

if it isn't love

I spent the entirety of this weekend either in bed or on the couch. I hate being sick. I also hate being sick when I'm not allowed to take any medicine that could possibly make me feel better or allow me to breath easier.

Saturday night, at the height of my whiney/neediness, Somebody came into the bedroom with me at 8pm to pray and tuck me in (because he's nice like that) because, dang, I'd been awake for almost eight hours and all that lying around had exhausted me. In my VapoRub stupor (side note: did you know that the jar says to consult my physician if I'm pregnant before I use VapoRub? Why? Do babies not like the smell?) I suggested to Somebody that what might help me fall asleep right away would be for him to sing me a lullaby. Because, you know, he's NEVER done that before. Or wanted to do that. Or wanted to be asked to do that. He, of course, declined that lovely suggestion. I figured there had to be some Chinese lullaby that he needed to practice singing, and that there was no time like the present, but he stubbornly refused to acknowledge that there ever was a lullaby sung in the Chinese language. Not even one. So I busted out the only song I can sing in Chinese, which is "We Are a Happy Family" and he patiently listened to my blatant and raspy combining of the phrases I knew in Chinese with supplemental English on the parts where I didn't know the Chinese words.

After I was done singing, we were both quiet for a moment before he said, "Okay, I have a song for you." And then he patted my head and sang, "You're beautiful, no matter what they say."